Sharing with you things that are on my mind...Maybe yours too. Come back to Wrights Lane for a visit anytime! And, by all means, let's hear from you by leaving a comment at the end of any post. THE MOTIVATION: I firmly believe that if I have felt, experienced or questioned something in life, then surely others must have too. That's what this blog is all about -- hopefully relating in some meaningful way -- sharing, if you will, on subjects of an inspirational and human interest nature. Nostalgia will frequently find its way into some of the items...And lots of food for thought. A work in progress, to be sure.

03 October, 2020

IMMEDIATE FUTURE FOR PHYSICAL CONTACT IS IN QUESTION...AND WHAT WILL REPLACE IT?


Certain activities and practices we engage in as a society are very often overlooked. However, there are some that we all engage in that can truly benefit our sense of joy in life. Hugs were invented far back in the primordial era of man, when the only thing that stood between humanity and the cold, dark wilderness was the comfort of our own kind.  Hugging as we know it today has been shown to not only affect our happiness, but also our health, positively influencing our cognitive and emotional capacities, as well as physical markers such as blood pressure and heart rate. Engaging in authentic, prolonged hugs allows people to feel connected, happy, and healthy. Best of all, it’s easy, free and enjoyable.
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Growing up as an only child, I was a reserved and painfully shy young man who had to grow into suppressed emotions and feelings that surged through my post puberty body. There were times when this natural evolution was an awkward and painful one.

I came by hugging and any kind of physical touch with a degree of reluctance until at some magic point in my life I realized that I actually liked outward demonstrations of affection and personal acknowledgement -- and so did most others. Things like shaking hands, hugging and friendly pats on the back ultimately became second nature to me.

Having cultivated personal closeness and touch for a good two-thirds of my life, it is now unsettling to think that with COVID-19 in its eighth month it's not a surprise that even the simplest joys — like hugs — are now under threat of disappearing.

Will hugs and handshakes become obsolete for good — another part of our new normal? Scientists fear more of us are starving for touch, another unfortunate outcome of the pandemic.

Touch is the fundamental language of connection and in the wake of social isolation from the pandemic, many of us are experiencing touch deprivation — a serious problem that can negatively impact our immune system, make us less empathetic and unbearably lonely.

It can be especially hard for seniors in nursing homes and those in the hospital sick without the ability to have visitors. By placing six-foot barriers between us and everyone else, we may be preventing the spread of infection but we're also preventing the spread of human connection, something that we're all hardwired for and it's playing a major role in our unhappiness.

Since skin is the largest organ in the body with billions of cells that process information constantly — each fingertip, for example, has over 3,000 receptors — when we hug or feel a friendly touch on our skin, our brains release oxytocin.

Affectionately known as the "cuddle hormone," oxytocin sends out signals to our brains flooding us with positive, feel-good sensations of trust, emotional bonding and social connection, perhaps more importantly right now, it also decreases fear and anxiety responses.

I could go on at length expounding on human need for physical contact, but I am sure that you already understand that.

Unfortunately, since the lockdown happened rather quickly, we went from all to nothing overnight. Whether it was shaking a coworker's hand or hugging a friend, most of us were accustomed to some level of platonic physical touch on a daily basis.

There very definitely is potential to become forever paranoid as a result of all of this. I met up with a dear friend at a funeral reception (limited to 50 people) a week or so ago. After chatting for a few minutes and without thinking, I acted on the impulse to touch her arm as I departed. Instantly, we found ourselves engaged in a full-fledged hug. It happened that naturally and easily.

Neither one of us spoke another word, but I am sure we were both left wondering: "My God what have I just done?" Two extremely distance conscious people guilty of momentarily living dangerously...And who knows, we very well might have been.

Do I believe hugs and handshakes will become obsolete? My answer is hopefully no but with a small caveat.

Platonic and romantic touch will always be in high demand. We humans are hardwired to seek it out. But I do think that until there is a vaccine, the way we interact with strangers, co-workers and friends in the short and long term will change.

We've already started to form habits that exclude handshakes and we only hug people in our small bubble, and not just as a general rule for anyone who used to hug everyone they met.

And, the thing with habits is that they normalize, and our brain changes to support those habits.

So, if this is our new normal, it may become our forever normal. But I do believe touch is entrenched in our humanity, and right now we need empathy and hugs and outstretched hands more than ever before.

Sadly, we are not getting it. Some of us in our twilight may well never experience it again.

Even more sadly, we know what we are missing!

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