It is just the way I am. I have come to rationalize it as a means for an otherwise basically shy person to break through all formality by creating a moment of levity that has instant potential for individual connection. My type of teasing is always good-natured, revolving around a very minor quirk or something offbeat someone says or does and, ideally, both parties find it funny.
I may tease about an item of clothing that is just a little different, a new hairdo or something unusual that I have just observed or overheard in conversation...That sort of thing. The intent generally to leave the impression that I actually noticed. And always with at least a hint of a smile.
I tease people I like, or think I would like if I knew them better. I also tease friends on Facebook, a tricky chance I take with potential to backfire without the benefit of body language and voice tone. I strongly suspect that I may have overspent my welcome in certain isolated cases of this nature.
A teaser has to be careful though because teasing can often be mistaken for sarcasm. It has to be done in a jovial, friendly way. There are those who do not understand the humor or purpose for levity.
I understand too that humor can unnerve people with insecurities because it uncloaks their wounds and weaknesses. They feel vulnerable, out of control and emotionally naked. In a nutshell, while you’re feeling pleasure, they’re feeling pain.
As a “rule of thumb,” I am forever conscious of having fun at the expense of others. Seriously, if they’re not laughing at one of my witty cracks, it isn’t funny. It is hurtful. Simply respecting the other person’s feelings without saying the proverbial, “You’re just too sensitive!” or “Can’t you take a joke?” is my ultimate hard-earned attitude.
I cannot begin to enumerate the times that I have said to myself: "I've got to stop doing that!" But you know what they say about old habits...
Admittedly, our world does have people that do in fact take themselves and others way too seriously. However, happily there are more people who get or understand humor and I derive satisfaction in walking away in the end feeling that I have generated a chuckle, maybe even provided the one bright spot in someone's day.
I do it with complete strangers too, and more often than not generate a positive response. In fact, I delight in wearing the "funny guy" or "friendly guy" labels often applied to me after an unsolicited, teasing or good-natured comment of some sort.
It is imperative, however, to know the where, the when, with whom, and how much humor is good enough in given situations. It is all about sensitivity!
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” —from the English Standard Version of the Bible.
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