CIVILITY IS ALL ABOUT HOW WE FORMULATE AND PRESENT OUR POLITICAL OPINIONS AND IDEAS AS EQUALS

Several Wrights Lane posts ago I alluded to the fact that increasing lack of civility in politics today and misplaced emphasis on accountability is a major contributor to the simultaneous growth of public distrust and unrest in our civic institutions. In this post I take another kick at the can.

Despite multiple pleas for civility in North American society, little is said about what civility really means. People are inclined to define the term in their own way, and no one believes in the possibility that their definition has uncivil undertones. 

But if we believe that our country needs to recover the virtue of civility in our midst, it behooves us to better define it.

Civility cannot be the demand to always remain calm in debate. It is generally good to keep one’s cool, of course. However when engaging in political disagreement, our  opinions typically reflect deeply held values and commitments about justice and we react accordingly. 

We tend to regard those who disagree with us about such matters as not merely on the other side of the issue, but on the wrong side. We should expect disagreements about important matters to get heated.

Civility might be better understood as the avoidance of undue hostility and gratuitous animosity in political debate. This could be something as simple as calling out inflated rhetoric. 

This idea acknowledges that heated debates can be appropriate within reason. It allows for some degree of antagonism, while at the same time prohibiting unnecessary vitriol. In a sense, this makes civility a matter of judging whether our subject’s behaviour calls for an escalation of hostility. The problem is that, when it comes to evaluating the behaviour of our opponents, we are remarkably poor judges.

Assessment of political behaviour tightly tracks our partisan allegiances. We cut our allies slack while holding our opponents to very high standards. When our allies engage in objectionable behaviour, we excuse them. But when members of the opposition engage in the same behaviour, we condemn them. 

In one experiment, when partisans were told of an ally stealing an opposing candidate’s campaign signs off neighbourhood lawns, they chalked it up to political integrity. But when those same partisans were told that an opponent had stolen their signs, they condemned the act as undemocratic. Go figure!

We over-ascribe hostility, dishonesty and untrustworthiness to our political opponents. Consequently, we will almost always see fit to escalate hostility when interacting with our opposition. When civility is understood as the avoidance of unnecessary rancour, it fails.

In his recently published book "Sustaining Democracy" Vanderbuilt University Professor of Philosophy W. Alton Jones says that civility isn’t really about how we conduct disagreements with political opponents. "Instead, civility has to do with how people formulate their own political ideas. We are uncivil when our political opinions do not take due account of the perspectives, priorities and concerns of our fellow citizens."

To better understand this idea, consider that in a democratic society citizens share political power as political equals. As democratic citizens, we have the responsibility to act in ways that respect the equality of our fellow citizens, even when we disagree with their politics. "In my view, one way to respect their equality is to give due consideration to their values and preferences," Professor Jones adds.

Of course, this does not require that we water down our own political commitments -- or always try to meet opponents halfway. It calls only for a sincere attempt to consider their perspectives when devising our own. People are civil when they can explain political opinions to political opponents in ways that are responsive to their rival ideas, that is the essence of what I have been trying convey on Wrights Lane.

Here is a suggested simple three-part test to help arrive at civility in an ideal world:

-- Take one of your strongest political views, and then try to figure out what your smartest partisan opponent might say about it.

-- Identify a political idea that is key to your opponent and then develop a lucid argument that supports it.

-- Identify a major policy favoured by the other side that you could regard as permissible for government — despite your opposition.

If you struggle to perform those tasks, that means you have a feeble grasp on the range of responsible political opinion.

When we cannot even imagine a cogent political perspective that stands in opposition to our own, we can’t engage civilly with our fellow citizens.

Sadly, this is a concept that some in our society today fail to grasp...and probably never will. It has become far too easy to write off opposition views as simply false news.

LIKE FLOWERS RELATIONSHIPS NEED NURTURING

At the beginning of a relationship, nothing is more fascinating for two people than learning about each other and negotiating the give-and-take of getting along. Long-term relationships can grow deeper and more intimate, but without some active attention, they can also deteriorate, as people repeat the same behaviors and anticipate the same reactions from their mates.

I'm a pretty insular person, but I have always found it easy to fall in love with love, almost an idealistic craving. But there can be devastating ramifications if a relationship is built solely on fantasized expectations.

Don't be fooled kids!

I've had the good fortune of a couple of bonafide love-at-first-sight relationships in my life, each one teaching me something. Alas, in retrospect, almost too little too late for my liking.

Granted, experience is the best teacher but why are we Homo Sapiens so slow at times to realize the obvious?

Relationships are a lot like plants. You need to make sure there’s space for the roots to grow. That there’s enough water to nourish the plant, but not too much so the plant drowns, and that the plant gets the right amount of sunlight during the day. But if you fuss with the plant too much, you’re going to end up killing it -- despite your good intentions.

The same counts for relationships. They need room to grow. They need nourishment and warmth. But they also need you to back off and not fuss about making it perfect all the time. Sure, if there is a major problem you might need to do some work, but for the most part relationships flourish when they’re just left to grow naturally.

If you like feeling in control it might be difficult for you to let go of controlling your relationship and your partner. But look at it this way...Do you really want to force your relationship? Do you want to squash it into a box and wrap it up all pretty? Or do you want it to grow bigger and more beautiful than you ever imagined?

When we try to micro-manage our relationships what we’re actually doing is stuffing them into a musty old shoe box and then covering that with pretty wrapping paper. But if you stuff a plant into a shoe box, what do you think is going to happen? It’s going to whither and die. That’s why it is so important to let go of the need to be in control all the time - because what you’re really doing is smothering your own happiness.

The more you try to fit some imaginary mold of what a relationship should be like, the less room you leave for the relationship to grow and bloom by itself. You might think that relationships need to be tilted a certain way (i.e emphasis on sexual gratification) to be “good”. But that’s not true.

Again, when you look at plants you’ll soon notice that none of them are perfect. They’re all flawed in one way or another. But even though they’re not perfect, they’re still beautiful. They still grow in their own unique way and bloom when the season is right.

A relationship is exactly like that. It might not look “perfect” from the outside. It might feel awkward and weird from the inside. But if you allow it to grow and flourish you’ll soon find that it grows and expands into something beautiful. You don’t have to force it to look and feel beautiful. All you need to do is give it room to grow, and water and sunlight to flourish. Of course you can prune it if you see it growing in a bad direction, but try to remember that if you cut off too much the plant is going to die.

In other words, allow your relationship to grow as naturally as possible. That’s the bet way to get the relationship you really want. 

You might think you need to control every aspect of it, but you don’t. All you need to do at this point is to feed the relationship and give it room to take root and bloom into something amazing. 

Let go of your idea of what a perfect relationship is supposed to be like and become more comfortable with the way your relationship is expanding, growing and taking shape at its own pace. 

The more you nourish the good parts of a relationship, the stronger it will grow and keep blooming to your heart's delight.

If only I had it to do all over again. Oh, the roses I would smell!

But there again...Roses, like relationships, need nurturing and tender loving care.

No question about it, we reap what we sow in life.

SHARED EXPERIENCES ON LIVING WITH COLON CANCER

The colon is also called the large intestine. The ileum (last part of the small intestine) connects to the cecum (first part of the colon) in the lower right abdomen. The rest of the colon is divided into four parts:

• The ascending colon travels up the right side of the abdomen.
• The transverse colon runs across the abdomen.
• The descending colon travels down the left abdomen.
• The sigmoid colon is a short curving of the colon, just before the rectum.

What follows is a story about a young man 30 years of age. While there is 55 years between the two of us, his story could well be mine too...We both live with stage 4 colorectal cancer.

Brendan Menapace leaving
treatment centre.

It is an intrusive, worrisome, messy, at-first sickening way to live out one's life. We become self-conscious and prefer to withdraw from society whenever possible. Clothing hides a lot...Too bad the same cannot be said for a permeating odor that is a dead giveaway in close encounter situations. The last thing we want to do is talk about it...But someone has to.

Colon cancer, it seems, is no respecter of age.

“I just turned 29, so I didn’t really think colon cancer,” the now 30-year-old  Brendan Menapace told TODAY.com. “All the symptoms really got worse, so I knew something was wrong, and I needed to find an answer.” After testing, Menapace learned of the devastating results.

“It was definitely surprising,” he says. “It hit me pretty hard.”

In the summer of 2021, Menapace experienced pelvic pain, constipation, bloating and fatigue.

“I would eat and then pretty much immediately, felt drowsy and wanted to lay down,” he says. “I felt terrible.” He also noticed blood in his stool and couldn’t sit for more than an hour and a half, which he noticed while driving his car.  

“In retrospect, it was pretty much the textbook things they say to look out for,” he says.

He visited a doctor who sent him for a colonoscopy in early October 2021. As soon as Menapace gained consciousness in the recovery room, he knew it was bad. “They told me there was a plan in place pretty much immediately.”

Two weeks after his test, he started chemotherapy from the end of October until January. Then he underwent 20 radiation sessions to his pelvis until March.

“From there, basically things had shrunk enough that surgery was viable,” he explains. “But chemo and radiation take a toll on your body, so I was in pretty rough shape.”

In May, doctors surgically removed his rectum, part of his colon and lymph nodes, and he received a temporary ileostomy bag as his colon recovered. In July, doctors reversed his ileostomy, and by October, a PET scan showed no evidence of disease.

“Until you hit that five-year mark, you’re not considered cured or cancer-free,” Menapace acknowledged. “Because of the way it spread, it wasn’t as simple as just cutting out the tumor or declaring me cancer-free.”

A recently published report from the American Cancer Society shows that the rates of colon cancer in young people are increasing. The reason for the increase remains a mystery.

Current screening recommendations for colon cancer are, starting at 45, people need to undergo a colonoscopy every 10 years. With colonoscopies doctors can detect precancerous polyps and remove them before they become cancer. 

The key for now is education and that’s not just educating people that are younger, but educating their health care providers that if someone comes in with blood in their stool or some of the symptoms, they might need to move screening for colorectal cancer higher on the differential.

Finding colon cancer earlier often means surgery alone can remove it. As it metastisizes, it becomes more difficult to treat. Once it spreads to the liver, the chance of it being curable is much lower.

Brendan Menapace experienced neuropathy when he underwent chemotherapy but is lucky that it stopped after treatment ended.

“It has been a huge learning curve and just the trauma to my colon and lower digestive system — things are never going to be the same,” he says. “There’s a new normal that I’m working toward and that takes a lot of work in its own right. I have to be careful eating.”

He returned to work and exercise, resuming as much of a "normal life" as he can.

“When I leave the house, I have to know where a bathroom is. It’s something in the back of my head, and I have to think about something that I never had to before,” he says. “It’s hard to fathom the idea of something being different forever.”

With the help of his partner, friends, family and therapy, Menapace is trying to grapple with the changes he faces due to cancer. He encourages others to talk about their symptoms with their doctors, no matter how strange it might feel.

“You’re trained not to talk about your poop. You’re trained not to talk about your butt. This is not what you talk about in polite society. At first, I would rely on euphemisms and be kind of fake and make jokes,” he says. “But if you’re not frank in explaining what you’re going through, you’re not going to paint the right picture for your care team. You’re not going to get the right care...and your friends will never understand.

UPDATE FROM DICK: At least Brendan's cancer was detected in the early stages and he has recovered sufficiently to resume reasonably normal activities, albeit a mere shadow of his former self. I keep my fingers crossed for him.

Unfortunately for me, following an emergency ileostomy December 19, 2019, daily chemotherapy treatments combined with radiation for a six-week period and a subsequent colonostomy when it was determined that complete reversal was not advisable at my advanced age; I ended up with permanent need for an ostomy bag attached to my stomach and a living hell for the rest of my days.

Two new cancer tumors were detected late last year (one internal near the rectum and the other growing externally at the site of my stoma where the ostomy bag attaches) and I resumed chemotherapy treatment in January. I consulted three oncologist surgeons, all of whom deemed my tumors inoperable and mutually suggested chemo and radiation as the only means of giving me "better quality of life".

Long story made short, I have opted out of any further chemo and radiation treatments. Having been there and done that before, why should I make myself sicker all over again when my fate has already been sealed.

I really have no pain or discomfort to speak of, just the ultimate in every day worry and inconvenience associated incontinent needs. I can live with that. I've been doing it all along!

Just one imposing obstacle though...The astronomical cost of assistive devices required to keep my ostomy draining adequately -- a two-piece skin barrier, an ostomy ring barrier and a two-piece drainable pouch, being the main component parts. 

I never know how long a complete appliance application will hold up...Some times just one day, other times three or four days if I'm lucky. Conditions have to be perfect and they are not always. A single minor variance can result in a faulty and short-lived application. 

I figure that each change costs in the neighborhood of $60. I order ostomy supplies for a two-month period (see photo below) at an average cost of $650 (or close to $4000 for the year). A government assistive devices program initiative reimburses me $480 twice a year. Well received but a drop in the  bucket overall.

The tumor, growing as we speak, engulfing the stoma and impeding its ability to drain, poses an ongoing problem and in the end will undoubtedly do me in. One centimeter larger in circumference and there will not be an ostomy device on the market designed to fit over the imposing growth. That's an inevitable bridge awaiting crossing.

In the end a Go-Fund Me promotion page may eventually be an option. But over my dead body!

Shown here is a two-month supply of ostomy assistive devices at an average cost of $650.00. I also had to fork out $400 for a special tailor made belt to help minimize unavoidable leakage at the stoma attachment site.

Now you know the other side of the story!

NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO PROCRASTINATE, JUST DO IT!

I know, I am full of questions and free advice. Well, here is a whole bunch of questions and only one piece of advice based personal conviction of an old guy who has been around the horn a time or three and does not have much more time to spare...THE TIME IS NOW, SO DO IT!

Most people drift through life. Never reaching out for anything. Never choosing a destination and going for it. Just simply drifting.

While the days go by…One, by one, by one…Like pages in a book getting turned by the wind…And soon, they will reach The End. The final page of their life story. And as the book of their life begins to close, they will wonder to themselves: “What was that all about?”… if they still have the ability to wonder at all, that is.

If only we could wake up to the reality that we tend to drift and that there is so much more out there, waiting for us. And that the first step towards having this “more” is simply……to listen.

Is an inner voice asking us to do something? To be, build, or say something? Is there work we need to do, which we have been putting off?

So back to my opening salvo: Do not wait any longer; do it now!

I think the reason why so many people are on "autopilot" is because they are deep, deep down inside, terrified off opening up their ears, and truly listening to that Godly voice inside of them. Because “what if He asks me to do something scary?”

And so they close their ears and run away back into their unfulfilling “autopilot lives,” like Jonah ran away from Nineveh.

Remember: We only have today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.

And if we constantly put off listening to God, and doing what He asks of us, until “tomorrow”, one tomorrow will turn into two, which will turn into three, which will turn into a thousand. And before you know it, you will be at the end of your life, swimming in an ocean of regret.

Today is all we have.

Today is our gift.
Today is the only time in which we can say ‘yes.’

What good, important thing have you been putting off until tomorrow? Only you can answer that question.

I leave the rest up to you my friend. Meantime, the life clock ticks away for all of us...and waits for no one!

THE RAMIFICATIONS OF HOLDING GOVERNMENT TO ACCOUNT: PUBLIC DISTRUST AND BITTERNESS

At the outset of this Wrights Lane post, I want to make a concession, admission or confession...Your choice, but it is really all three.

Truthfully, I know a little bit about a few things and very little about a lot of things. That, I think, makes me an average Canadian citizen.

I rely heavily on personal interest research and information gleaned from a variety of sources. My education is ongoing because I care about what is going on around me.

And, that is why I elect to place trust, faith and yes, even admiration, in those possessing superior knowledge and abilities. I listen intently trying to understand financial experts, engineers, scientists, medical practitioners, lawyers, even politicians, but most of what they say goes completely over my head; due primarily to an inability to comprehend jargon entrenched in verbal discourse on respective subjects of interest.

Resultantly, I frequently find myself shaking my head in wonder and left asking the obvious question: "What did he/she just say?" Still I watch and listen, all the while hoping that at some point I will experience a break though enabling me to be on the same wave length and level of  understanding.

In most cases, I humbly chose to accept what "experts" or those in the position of authority and leadership have to offer because I am in no way qualified to question otherwise. That is, until such time as they are proven to be wrong or guilty of poor judgement and I am left weighing pros and cons of evidence made available for public discernment through media sources and ultimately to separate wheat from the chaff of abundant discourse.

This is all by means of preamble to a subject that has troubled me for some time -- accountability, as it is applied specifically to governmental management of the affairs of our diverse country, coast to coast to coast.

We need accountability in all walks of life. It keeps us on our toes and honest in all endeavors -- personal, governance and business to name but a few. The problem I have with accountability though is when all-too-frequently opposition parties resort to bitter outbursts of feigned indignity and criticism coupled with half truths, all designed to embarrass and bring government to account. The government, in turn, fights fire with fire in an attempt to defend their position and actions taken, or not taken. There is absolutely no civility in our provincial legislatures and House of Commons these days and it is at the expense of public trust in all levels of government...and that worries me. With trust eroded, I too am left losing respect in general and not knowing who or what to believe. Sadly, I am not alone.

A rather disturbing recent Edelman poll revealed that only 43 per cent of Canadians say they trust their government — down from 53 per cent a year earlier. And 80 per cent of Canadians feel the country's elites are out of touch. Increasing hatred and militancy is the resultant and extremely dangerous byproduct.

Now, back to the subject of holding governments to account. Succinctly, I fear that un-civil criticism in the guise of "holding to account" has contributed in large measure to the public discontent that we are experiencing in Canada today.

It seems as though all's fair (acceptable) in love, war -- and politics -- these days. But that does not make any of it right. Surely there is a more humane and civil-- way of arriving at mutual resolve.

Accountability has recently been described as ‘the uber-concept of modern times’. In politics it has certainly become ubiquitous. The Cambridge University Press alludes to daily demands for someone or something to be ‘held to account’. The routine response to a whole range of political issues is a call for ‘more accountability’. Yet this political usage of the word is relatively recent. What began life as the language of the counting house, as dry as financial dust, has been converted into the stock language of the political and constitutional arena. Even more interestingly, what was once a means by which medieval monarchs could count the assets of their subjects has been transformed into the means whereby modern citizens can hold to account those who rule them.

So pervasive has the language of accountability become -- and so synonymous it now is with every desirable attribute of democracy and good government -- that the concept is in danger of losing all critical meaning. For example, it would be a very brave politician (or commentator) who would dare to suggest that good governance might even benefit from somewhat less accountability in certain respects.

This is not the place to explore all the conceptual complexities of accountability, but it is necessary to pin down a core meaning. It involves a relationship between an account-holder and an account-giver, so that the latter has to provide explanations to the former, with the possibility of consequences. Obviously legal accountability is a ‘hard’ form of accountability, with enforced consequences, but the primary focus here is on the political accountability that is intrinsic to democratic politics and which takes a variety of forms.

It is intrinsic because the idea of democracy carries with it the belief in the popular control of power. This in turn acts to prevent abuse of power and corruption, promotes learning and nourishes legitimacy. I understand that as a given.

Accountability is therefore both the lubricating oil and the practical toolkit that gives effect to the idea. In the case of political accountability, the relationship is usually described as that between principal and agent. The principal is the electorate and the agent is their elected representatives. There then follows a chain of delegation, with ministers accountable to the elected representatives and civil servants accountable to ministers.

Now all that is in a perfect world of respect and unity of cause within and without party lines. In Canada today we are far past any of that and civility in government has become a forgotten attribute never to be recovered, shy of a miraculous Act of God.

It all boils down to governments clinging to power at all costs and opposition factions determined to upset the apple cart...That's the name of the game in politics today. Public good gets lost in the bitterness of the conflict.

Meantime, small inconsequential tax-payer guys like me are left not to reason why, but to literally do and die, unseen and unheard in the vast wilderness of Canada. Ignorant and confused, an outsider looking in for the most part, but nonetheless happy to live in a country like Canada with all its warts, wrinkles and inherent shortcomings of elected officials who I trust are trying their best in spite of themselves and habitual rhetoric that I have difficulty accepting, let alone understanding.

Go figure!

Merely stating it as I see it, without apologies.

EMPHASIS ON CYBER FRAUD DURING MONTH OF MARCH

The Ontario Provincial Police (OPP), Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (CAFC), Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) and Competition Bureau of Canada have launched the 19th edition of Fraud Prevention Month.

This year’s FPM in March focuses on “Tricks of the Trade: What’s in a fraudster’s toolbox?”. The campaign reflects a need to educate and equip Ontario consumers and businesses alike about some of the most common fraud techniques in the marketplace right now.

With all demographic groups being expected to use technology for many facets of their lives, Canadians are being increasingly targeted by cyber criminals...and in all aspects it is literally a crime!

Being able to recognize these techniques will go a long way in helping to combat cyber enabled frauds. In the past decade, technology has completely transformed the fraud landscape, which is more widespread and sophisticated than ever before.

In 2022, the CAFC received fraud reports totalling a staggering $530 million in victim losses. This was nearly a 40% increase from the 2021, unprecedented $380 million in losses. In 2021, approximately 75% of all reports the CAFC received were cyber enabled, and this is expected to increased year-over-year. It is estimated that only 5-10% of victims report scams and frauds to the CAFC or law enforcement.

According to the CAFC, in 2022, the top frauds affecting Canadians on a daily basis were:

· Investment frauds represented $308 million in reported losses in 2022. Ontario victims reported losing over $136 million.
· Romance frauds represented $59 million in reported losses in 2022. Ontario victims reported losing over $20 million.
· Spear phishing frauds (Business Email Compromise) represented $58 million in reported losses in 2022. Ontario victims reported losing over $21.1 million.
· Service scams represented $20.5 million in reported losses in 2022. Ontario victims reported losing over $8.1 million.
· Extortion frauds represented $19 million in reported losses in 2022. Ontario victims reported losing over $4.8 million.

How do fraudsters use technology?

Fraudsters will create spoofed websites, will use false telephone numbers using voice over internet protocol (VoIP) to mimic legitimate numbers, will have victims download remote entry software providing access to devices and computers or send out phishing texts pretending to be businesses or governments offering refunds.

One of the best ways to combat these despicable individuals is to be armed with knowledge, information and awareness. "I encourage everyone to learn the information and tips being made available to protect yourself, and to share these with your loved ones to help protect them. Together we can fight back and lessen the impact of fraud on our communities,” said Dominic Chong, OPP Detective Superintendent, Director of Financial Crime Services, Anti-Rackets Branch & Serious Fraud Office.

Remember…if you fall victim to a fraud or know someone who has, contact your local police service to report the crime and also report it to the CAFC at 1-888-495-8501 or online on the Fraud Reporting System (FRS), even if a financial loss did not occur.

MINDFULNESS OFTEN MY ACE IN THE HOLE

Even when I am riding out a periodic self-imposed sabbatical from the written word on Wrights Lane, I spend a good seven or eight hours a day sitting at the computer in a windowless, eight-by-ten think tank closet of a room, surrounded for the most part by relics from past lives.

That's where I feel most comfortable. That's where creative juices flow best. That is also where I have spent countless sleepless nights bringing a piece of work to an acceptable conclusion.

When I am on a writing roll, I can spend up to 10 hours non-stop with my rear end cushioned in a computer chair that cost an arm and a leg, but was well worth the investment. Now, mind you, not all that time is spent transferring mental verbal ramblings to the computer monitor screen in readable pros fashion.

I take periodic breaks, some voluntary (i.e. research, just plain thinking, a coffee) and other involuntary rest stops. I am never that deep in concentration that I cannot nod off for a few rejuvenating winks of slumber when my eyes get heavy, which they are increasingly known to do.

Then too, on days when I find myself struggling with frustration,  self doubts and depressed feelings that run counter to creativity, I turn on the computer but leave it sitting idle while I close my eyes and let my mind wander. I really do not have to sit at the computer to do this exercise, I can do it from any room in the house -- the kitchen table and in my bedroom at any time of the day or night.

Just ask my daughter Debbie. I know that there have been times when she has seen me sitting at the computer or in an easy chair in my bedroom starring off into the darkness of space; and she thinks I have finally lost it and gone around the bend.

Don't get me wrong...I am not into meditation in any major way. As a born and bred daydreamer, it just sort of comes natural to me. Some 80 years ago when I was still afraid of the bogey man and unable to sleep at night, my dad taught me to think pleasant thoughts. Because it was his favorite go-to scene, he suggested I think of sitting with my feet dangling in a babbling brook on a nice warm summer's day and watching fish as they dart to and fro in the crystal-clear water. It worked!

For me now, it is like getting in touch with my true inner self, reframing challenges and recognizing the blessing hidden inside each one. Thinking pleasant thoughts and holding on to positivity. 

Creativity is not limited to ideas either. So, when I meditate or relax my mind for five or 10 minutes, I am in a full state of awareness. I tend to create situations that will allow me to move effortlessly through life, from one scenario to the other, with a relaxed state of mind. Generally I find that when I am enjoying this level of mindfulness, I get to access and grasp a sense of direction and purpose with ease and poise that is not always immediately available otherwise.

I have found escape through mindfulness and cat naps while sitting at my computer for extended periods to be a saving grace in my life, particularly when a story is pending and I need a clear, unencumbered mind to get it into printed form.

There have been troubled times too when a mindfulness break has saved me from completely losing my mind. I call on it daily in order to survive rough spots and challenges...and it costs me nothing.

News Flash: I did not fall asleep once and there was no need to meditate while producing this piece. I can do it when I put my mind to it!

CHILDREN WERE BACK HOME HEROS DURING WW2

In digging out some material to post on an Ontario ancestors group timeline in Chatham-Kent a few days ago, I uncovered a couple of scribblers I used in Grade 2 back in the good old days and by which the rudiments of the Three R's were drilled into me by means of learning exercises.

The scribblers had to be purchased from a local book supply store (drug store for me) and I seem to recall that they cost a whole 10 cents. In fact all school supplies were obtained outside of the school system in those days. 

I could not help but wonder how this particular set of scribblers used by impressionable youngsters in the period between 1942 and '46, could place such blatant emphasis on war -- i.e. the British bulldog steadfastly protecting the Union Jack flag while standing "On Guard" with battle ships and aircraft in the background, or impressive armored tanks pushing into action on the battle field. Such depictions on the covers of these scribblers, or notebooks, would be out of the question for use in schools today. 

But then, I had to consider the time period and the unusual function that children were expected to, and did, engage in.

Approximately 700,000 Canadian children and teenagers played an important role in Canada's WW2 effort. They filled many of the gaps left by male family members and other able-bodied young men, many themselves still in their teens, who left society to join the armed forces and also provided other sorts of valuable support to those overseas. 

During the war, Canadian children contributed and sacrificed in many ways. Youth were constantly encouraged by their teachers, family, and friends to support the home front effort.

With most able-bodied men overseas, there were not enough farm workers to harvest the crops. Countless young people worked long hours on farms to ensure a steady food supply for Canadians and our Allies. To encourage students to help with the harvest, many schools did not count attendance or introduce new material in classes until after the crops were in.

Wannabe soldier me, 1944 and 1955

The government lowered the minimum age for obtaining a driver's licence to 14 so that teenagers could legally operate farm trucks and other vehicles. Many children saw themselves as junior soldiers. They prepared for war by memorizing aircraft silhouettes and building ship models. Dressed in makeshift military gear complete with toy guns, we played war games against an invisible enemy. Many high school students joined cadet corps and learned how to march, perform arms drills, and fire weapons. In my town, participation in high school cadets was compulsory for both boys and girls.

Teachers often had children write letters to Canadian military members overseas, telling them about what was happening back home. We became members of the Junior Red Cross and supported the organization's dedication to treating the injured overseas. Canadian children were joined by hundreds of British refugee children (guest children) who were sent by their parents from bomb-ravaged Britain to Canada for their safety. These children lived with Canadian children and went to school with them.

We learned to scrimp and save to raise money for the war effort and to recycle and collect materials, such as metal, rubber, fat and grease, that were in short supply and could be reused to produce useful war products. 

Encouraged by incentives such as free passes to movies, Canada's children became ardent scavengers and collected tons of scrap. We even donated our own toys for metal salvage drives and brought our nickels and dimes to school to buy War Savings Stamps which were then stuck into special booklets for post-war redemption.

Boy Scouts and Girl Guides in every community also conducted many fund-raising activities such as newspaper and bottle drives. 

A "Canadian Whites" comics
book also from my collection.

To save scarce dollars, the Canadian government barred all non-essential American products from entering Canada. This embargo included children's much-beloved comic books. The Canadian publishing industry stepped in to fill the void, but they could only afford to use color on the covers so they went with black-and-white printing of comic images on the inside pages and the comic books became known as "Canadian whites". In the summer of 1941, the first Canadian comic book, "Better Comics #1" hit the stands, and all 52,000 copies were sold. Canadian comic book heroes included Johnny Canuck, Freelance Dixon of the Mounties, and Nelvana of the Northern Lights.

So, it goes without saying, the broad range of sacrifices and achievements made by Canadians during the Second World War provide us with a proud and lasting legacy that will ideally continue into the country's future. 

The considerable efforts and sacrifices made by the kids of my generation, should serve as a lasting reminder of what Canada's youth can do when they put their mind to it...with subtle encouragement from their elders.

With any luck, we will not have to go that way again.

ABOUT AN IMPACTFUL ERA IN LADIES HAIR FASHION

Female readers of Wrights Lane may get a kick out of seeing the above ad from the Chatham Daily News in November of 1939 which featured Wright's Beauty Salon specials for the upcoming Christmas (Yuletide) season. 

Boy, look at those prices! Have times ever changed in more ways than one!

My father, Ken Wright, was an innovator and even developed his own hair tonics, solutions and shampoo. He built his King Street West business in downtown Chatham on creative permanent waves, cold waves, finger waves and simple cuts at an affordable price, a mere token of what it costs today for a trip to a hairdressing establishment.

After a period of successfully building clientele and in spite of Ken's best efforts to stay afloat during tough times brought on by unfortunate timing of the Second World War, unanticipated competition created with the introduction of the Toni Home Permanent in the early 1940's proved to be a death knell for hair businesses like his.

The creation of Toni Home Permanent opened the door for women who wanted a permanent wave without having to pay for it at a beauty shop. On the heels of a highly financed debut, the folks at The Toni Company were finding ways to make their star product better -- and to let the public know of its achievement. In other words, Toni Home Permanent was going head-on with the other brands of home permanents of the era --  and more importantly, the perms that were done professionally at beauty parlors across the country.

A few readers may be old enough to remember that in order to get the word out on air waves, announcer Bill Cullen of quiz show fame was contracted to describe a classic advertising promotion on the popular Toni-sponsored serial radio program "This Is Nora Drake" and the entertaining drama, "Casey, Crime Photographer."

The ad promotion featured identical twin sisters who had identical and immaculate waves in their hair. There was a slight difference, however. One twin supposedly had her hair done professionally at a beauty parlor, and the other twin used Toni on her hair at home. The classic question Cullen asked listeners was, “Which twin has the Toni?” Unless the people were told (and they usually were in the small print of magazine and newspaper ads), it was inconclusive which twin had what. 

Now bear in mind, the cost of Ken Wright's perms ranged from a reasonable $2.50 to $5.00 compared to $2 for a novelty Toni Kit, which included waving solution and plastic curlers. But in those days, a saving was a saving. Interestingly, this was at a time when men were paying an almost unbelievable 50 cents to have their ears lowered by a barber, so it all remains relative to this day.

It was a no-brainer, it seemed, for the ladies who wanted a professional looking wave, to try Toni at home and save the extra money for something else in her household budget. As an added note, once the Toni Kit was purchased, when another Toni perm was the order of the day, the Toni Refill (bottle of waving solution only) was available for $1. Botched home jobs were often noticeable to the practised and discriminating eye, but that's beside the point.

“The Toni Twins” promotion was so popular, the phrase “Which Twin Has The Toni?” became a part of the language of the day.

With a staff of three hairdressers, operational overhead and a profit margin already slashed to bare bones, the writing appeared on the wall for my dad. He sold the struggling business for a song in 1945 and returned to his hometown of Dresden where he resumed barbering, a trade in which he apprenticed 25 years earlier.

If by some strange quirk of happenstance I'd decided to go into the hair cutting and styling business in later years, Ken would have turned over in his grave...and my mother along with him.

The novelty of do-it-yourself home permanents for women was destined to wear off in a couple of decades, giving way to a convenience-at-all-costs, less fuss and less muss generation. Hair dressers today seem to be more than holding their own in a more affluent, grooming conscious market, thank you very much!

Ken Wright was born about 50 years too soon.

SEPARATING WHEAT FROM THE CHAFF -- MACHINE

I come from a long line of expressive individuals who use old sayings in conversations, many times at the expense of showing my age. "Separating wheat from the chaff," is one of them. In fact the expression actually appeared for perhaps the first time in the New Testament of the Bible, Matthew 3:12.

Separating wheat from chaff immediately came to mind the other day when I came across a fading photograph of an old fanning mill developed in the late 1800's by W. A. Gerolamy of nearby Tara. In the fanning-mill business at the time, he set about making improvements to the process of fanning and eventually created a new machine destined to become world famous.

In fact the heavy piece of fanning  equipment (seen above) actually won prizes at the Chicago World's Fair in 1893 and the Paris World's Fair in 1900.

Looking back through history it is evident that innovation like this has not, and never has been, limited to Silicon Valley and futuristic sci-fi-inspired prototypes. Innovation is often born out of necessity and has gone part and parcel with rural, small community life where a practical need and independence have had a habit of intersecting.

The mother of invention, as it were.

Gerolamy's separating wheat from the chaff machine is currently on display at the Bruce County Museum and Culture Centre in Southampton.

I've got to go see it!

HUMANITY IS IN THE HANDS OF ARTIFICIAL INTELLEGENCE

Increasingly, there are times when I am relieved that I will not be around to witness certain things that are in store for society, even in the next couple of decades.

Whether we realize it or not, artificial intelligence has entered all our lives. From Google maps to the Uber app, voice assistants like Siri and Alexa, and face recognition to unlock our phones, A.I. is here to stay. But that's just the tip of the digital iceberg.  We are told that so-called "Super artificial intelligence (SAI) will exceed the best human-level intelligence in every field, including social skills, general wisdom, and scientific creativity," among others. Even more alarming, artificial intelligence will one day become a billion times smarter than humans and it has been predicted that it will exceed human intelligence as soon as 2029. "The time is now to influence it with the right ethics to have humanity's best interests in mind." No question about it, at no period in history has the risk of technology ruining our humanity been any greater. Unsurprisingly, collective brains have gone into overdrive on this topic. Science is already making a lot of progress in bioengineering, synthetic molecules and exo-skeletons. These and other spectacular advances hold the promise of proactively repairing human bodies damaged by disease, accident or conflict. Aside from this “self-repairing” future, humans can already do amazing things. We can fly thanks to planes. We can speed across the surface of our planet at will thanks to the motor vehicle. The knowledge to cope with just about any situation is instantly available to us via our smartphone. So in a way, we are already enhanced humans compared with the generations that came before us. But, these devices can be used as options and require man-machine interfaces like joysticks, steering wheels and keypads. How do we do away with the interface and use machines to make the human intrinsically better? That’s when we start talking about plugging the internet directly into the brain or sending impressions directly on to our retinas, without the need for cumbersome screens and keyboards. Just imagine how, in a few years, such a connection could empower you in a business meeting or when you meet someone new that you desperately want to impress. You could adjust what you say and how you empathize with the other person based on social network profiles and other information collected in real time on the internet. Clearly the other person could be equipped with the same device. And, as repulsive as it may be, the outcome of the interaction could very well depend on who downloaded the latest and most efficient software upgrade. So how can we make humans better without stealing humanity itself? It doesn't take long to agree that advances in medicine have saved lives or relieved pain and that is a good thing. However, performance-enhancing drugs, in the context of competitive sports, might not always be positive.  There is the clear and present danger of a short-term trade of better performance for long-term poor health, not to mention the destruction of the level playing field. But what if that performance-enhancing drug allowed a surgeon to carry out longer and more complex interventions with a higher success rate? What if we were the executives of tomorrow’s drug regulator? How would we write the rules for what enhancements are authorized (and for what purpose) and which are forbidden? What criteria would we use? Agreed, the first rule would ensure that enhancing the performance of one person is not detrimental to the freedom of another. But then some enhancement might be appropriate for some individuals but detrimental for a community, a society or the entire human race. While this point is just the tip of the ice burg and one of many to be considered with the artificial intelligence equation, who can be certain that helping the human race live longer is a positive given the finite resources available to sustain a burgeoning, aged population? Good question! I'll leave it at that. Over to my grandchildren and their children's children. God bless -- and help -- them!

A GOODBYE SALUTE TO MY FIRST NEWSPAPER EDITOR

A newspaper reporter never forgets his/her first editor. The guy who was a master intimidator, not beyond giving a cub reporter a piece of his mind all the while tossing a handful of copy paper back at you for re-write...or, worse yet, adding insult to injury as you helplessly stood by while he handed your work over to a senior reporter for a flushing out in more acceptable journalistic form.

Lawrence J. "Laurie" Beavis was one of those old-time throw back editors, but so much more existed under that tough newsroom persona. He passed away the other day in St. Thomas at a remarkable 95 years of age.

Laurence J. "Laurie" Beavis
...a news man's news man

City editor of the St. Thomas Times-Journal in my day, 1961-'72, Laurie eventually became publisher and general manager of the newspaper before retiring after a remarkable 37 years of service.

Laurie and then Managing Editor Hugh Agnew, hired me (took a chance, may be a better way of phrasing it) as a very green

cub reporter, fresh off a baseball field and a stint in the men's clothing business. There were no journalism schools in those days...You learned the hard way -- on the job.

Laurie was to become my first real mentor (i.e. insisting on the fundamental who, what, where and when in the lead paragraphs of all news reports coupled with constant checking of facts) and an eventual career influencer to be sure.

He did not wear his predecessor's shaded eisenglass peeked cap, but he had everything else -- the traditional stern demeanor, shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbows and a chest pocket full of pencils and pens stuffed into a protective plastic holder. 

I can still hear him pounding on his trusty, 1930's vintage Underwood typewriter with only the forefingers of each hand as he banged out quick editorials after the paper went to press each day at noon. It should be explained that I could hear him, but I could not always see the lower half of his six-foot, five-inch frame as it hovered over a typical 12-inch high mound of assorted papers that he managed to collect on his desk in the course of a week.

The Laurie I remember, 
minus his shot of navy rum.

Cutting reporter's teeth on the police and court beat, my first landing spot and allotted hand-bomber typewriter was located directly in front of where Laurie held forth his command on the rather spacious second floor of the newspaper plant. I was initially a convenient target for dreaded obituary writeups, other odd and sod tasks and surprise non-writing assignments like doing in-person wakeup calls for reporters who frequently slept in past deadline time after a night of imbibing while out on the town.

One of the most memorable "wake up" assignments afforded me was attending the rooming house of a very tardy sports editor, still downing a beer when I knocked on his door. Needless to say, I was unable to get the dishevelled sad sack back to the newsroom on time and he was fired on the spot when he did arrive. The T.-J. carried a makeshift sports page that day, for sure, sans overnight local game report notes which remained unwritten and the forgotten custody of the departed sports editor. 

The unfortunate incident, however, left an opening for me and I boldly took the initiative to jump on the opportunity. "Why not try me on the sports desk instead of hiring someone new," I reasoned after mustering up the necessary fortitude. Taken somewhat aback, Laurie replied, "Are you sure? Do you think you can handle it?"

I was never more sure of anything in my life and a half dozen enjoyable years of sports writing ensued. I'd found a niche and was on my way up the ladder.

The Simcoe Reformer temporarily lured me at one point in 1966 but I soon found my way back to the T.-J. at Laurie's invitation, this time as his news desk assistance and City Editor. If I do say so myself, I think we bucked the odds and worked well together, five days a week and side by side in the news room for almost six years. Every other Saturday we held down the news desk individually while the other enjoyed a long (two-day) weekend. In the end, he gave me his blessing knowing that I was anxious to further my career by "running my own show" (his words) elsewhere.

After I accepted a managing editor position in the Thomson newspaper organization in 1973, Laurie remained a long-distance source of consultation and advice for me until he retired.

Born in Ripon, Yorkshire, UK, he was a British Army veteran, commissioned into the West Yorkshire Regiment in 1946 and served with the British War Crimes Commission investigating Japanese war crimes in Singapore and Burma. As a reservist, he was recalled in 1950 for the Korean War and attached to the Royal Northumberland Fusiliers where he served as an infantry platoon commander during the 1951 Battle of the Imjin, all of which explained his penchant for regimentation.

With a brief introduction to British newspapering in London, Laurie and his wife Helen (a talented actress) came to Canada and ultimately St. Thomas in about 1953. They had a son and two daughters -- Bruce, Allison and Jennifer -- not long after arrival.

Active in the community, Laurie was a life-time blood donor and a past president of the Canadian Red Cross, St. Thomas Branch; past president of the Rotary Club and an honorary life member of Rotary International. He was also a prominent participant in United Way and was a member of the founding committee of St. Thomas-Elgin Crime Stoppers. A strong supporter of Scouts Canada, Laurie served as a unit leader as well as Elgin District Commissioner and Assistant Provincial commissioner, Ontario. He was instrumental in the establishment of Camp Timken, the Elgin District Scout Reserve located in nearby Iona.

In retirement, he was a volunteer member of the Elgin Military Museum. Besides travel with his family, he enjoyed woodworking and wood carving and was the founder of the St. Thomas Wood Carver's Club.

Wife Helen passed away in March of 2013 after 63 years of marriage and daughter Allison followed in July of 2020. The epidemy of a husband and father, I don't think LJB fully recovered after those losses.

Laurie Beavis lived a good and full life, indeed. Hardly a day goes by without thinking of him, especially when I fire up my computer and prepare to develop a story idea.

He also often appears in one of my recurring nightmares where we are struggling to meet a deadline long after it has expired. Luckily I always manage to wake up before facing the bitter consequences and predictable ire of a too-ready-to-pounce production manager.

In putting a wrap on all of this I salute the old platoon commander this one last time!

That's my Take 30 on a long-gone life experience story...and sadly a newspaper era, never to be repeated.

GET READY FOR COMPASSIONATE ACCOUNTABILITY

Compassionate accountability is a relatively new term to me and it might be for Wrights Lane readers too. But get ready, you'll be hearing a lot more about it in the future. 


Compassionate accountability is a commitment to kind self-truth telling. It is the act of stepping up to the authorship of your life. It is the gentle re-establishment of faith bounded by principles that you protect just as much for yourself as you do for others.



From road rage levelled at bad drivers on commutes to coping with rude coworkers and beyond, dealing with difficult people is never easy or enjoyable -- and even less so if you lack the self-awareness to know that you might well be the difficult person. That said, it doesn't need to be impossible.

Marc Lesser, a Zen master who brought emotional intelligence training to Google, says we can actually learn a lot about dealing with difficult people by simply being still and looking inward.

"An important and fundamental distinction to make is between 'difficult people' and behaviors or actions that we find difficult," Lesser says in an upcoming book.

While there are evolutionary benefits to that practice in terms of avoiding danger, in today's world, it simply doesn't work. Why? Because, he explains, "We tend to judge others by the impact their actions have on us. We judge ourselves by our intentions."

The key to dealing with "difficult people," Lesser adds, is compassionate accountability. How do we do that? "Be curious, not furious."

Sounds good on paper, right!

All worthy of serious consideration...and a searching look within ourselves.

The main message of Compassionate Accountability is that the struggle is real, the struggle isn’t going away, and that by changing HOW we struggle, we can change the world inside us and around us. There are three ways to struggle with others toward something better. Openness to one’s own and others’ feelings, needs, and wants, all of which validates emotions without commiserating or discounting.

Resourcefulness around problem-solving curiously explores possibilities without taking over responsibility for the solution...
Persistence around commitments, goals and boundaries without threats, ultimatums, or implicit expectations.

Compassion without accountability gets you nowhere. Accountability without compassion gets you alienated. We'd be wise to think about that!