IN PASSING:

THINGS YOU THINK ABOUT NEAR THE END

My first late wife Anne was a call-it-like-it-is sort of girl. In fact she was known to be brutally frank at times.

"When I am gone you can marry a 'winnie minnie' who will bow and scrape to your every whim," she once offered rather sarcastically near the end of her life. Later, in a more soft and permissive frame of mind, she ammended her unforgettable sick bed statement to the effect "When I die you will still be young enough (62) to remarry and that will be alright because you deserve to be happy."

Anne was no doubt, and undstandably, thinking ahead to my life after she was gone and it was her way of dealing with it.

Discretion dictated that I not respond verbally to either one of her rather unsettling and unforgetable remarks.

Long story made short and as fate would have it, I did remarry, but wife No. 2 (Rosanne, now also deseased) was by no means a minnie winnie but conversly as her primary caregiver for the better part of 10 years I did respond to most of her health-need  "whims" that went with the territory.

I do not know about others who live into their upper 80s and have been married more than once, but I have devoted considerable time to thinking about this issue.

"Is a person eligible for remarriage after he/she is widowed?" Not only does the Bible not speak against remarriage after a spouse dies, in some cases, it actually encourages it (1 Corinthians 7:8-9; 1 Timothy 5:14). The Jewish culture in biblical times also encouraged it for different reasons. 

In most cases, the Bible addresses the issue of widows rather than widowers. However, there is nothing within the context of any of these passages leading us to believe that the standard was gender-specific.

Primarily addressing widows was likely to have been for three reasons. The first was that men usually worked outside the home, sometimes doing dangerous jobs. Men in biblical times, just as now, had shorter life spans on average than their wives. Thus, widows were far more common than widowers.

The second reason was the fact that women rarely had any means of supporting themselves and their children in biblical times (2 Kings 4:1-7). Remarriage was the primary way in which a widow would regain protection and provision for the needs of herself and her children.  

The third issue was that continuing the husband’s family line and name was a concern in Jewish culture. As a result, if a husband died without leaving any children to carry on his name, his brother was encouraged to marry the widow and provide her with children. Other men in the family had the option also, but there was a proper order in which each man had the opportunity to fulfill or pass on this responsibility (see the book of Ruth for an example of this).

Even among priests (who had to follow a higher standard), remarriage after the death of a spouse was permitted. In the case of priests, it was under the stipulation that they only marry the widow of another priest (Ezekiel 44:22). 

So, based on all biblical instruction on the subject, remarriage after the death of a spouse IS permitted by God.

Phew! What a relief!!

The only question remaining in my mind now is, how am I ever going to manage with two wives waiting to greet me in the after-life? I wonder if anyone else ever concerns themself with that possible and potentially uncomfortable eventuality.

There are some things the Bible does not talk about. God only knows!