In recent weeks I have been dictated by the impulse to withdraw -- back off, isolate -- from exposure to situations in life that had increasingly been causing me anxiety and distress. Call is self-preservation, if you will; or an escape from a world in which I was beginning to feel uncomfortable and (worst of all) depressingly inadequate. To some, even offensive.
Life is like that sometimes, increasingly so the older you get and the more you are inclined to be vulnerable to involuntarily invasion of sensitivities and resultant self-imposed inhibitions. Then there is an accompanying, almost unavoidable irritability factor that sets in at a certain stage of life, but that's another story.
I was prompted to write this post after reading an extremely relative item that found its way into my idea box a few hours ago.
It seems that during a large university commencement exercise, the School's President rose to address the graduates and confer their degrees. He began by explaining the meaning of the traditional Latin phrases used to rank their performance.
For example, if a student graduates "Cum Laude," it means "With Honors."
Next, he explained that Magna Cum Laude translates "With High Honors." And if a student graduates Summa Cum Laude, it designates “With Supreme Honors.”
However, he continued, there was a new honor he planned to use in the future and it was to be called "Magna Cum Pellidentium", which means "By the skin of your teeth".
Living as we do, in this complex world of ours, we sometimes feel that in so many ways, we're holding on by the skin of our teeth. Or, in the words of Lewis Carroll (best known as the author of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland), "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get." And we feel the need to slow down, back off for a while, or simply get away from it all. We feel the need for some quiet time in which to think, maybe even to pray.
I am also reminded of the biblical story where, having been sent out by Jesus in pairs, the Apostles returned and report to Him all that they had done and taught. And Jesus said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a lonely place, and rest awhile." Mark further explains that the Apostles had been so busy that "they had no leisure, even to eat" (Mk. 6:31). In Jesus' opinion, they needed a little time to rest and to reflect. And so, "they went away" by boat, "to a lonely place by themselves".
When aspects of our lives become too full and too fast, we have the same need to back off and relax. We need a little solitude in which to think things over...a time to soul-search, rationalize and rejuvenate -- or in my case to heal from perceived debilities that can raise havoc with an overall sense of well-being.
To the wonderment of others, more than once in life I have taken a step back in order to eventually move two steps forward. Not always a wise decision, but it has worked for me as a means of maintaining sanity, if nothing else.
As I emerge from another self-imposed lonely place nearing graduation from this lifetime course called "school of hard knocks" I am holding out hope that I can curtail sufficient personal foibles to at least earn Magna Cum Pellidentium consideration by the Head Master.
That'll keep me going for a while anyway.
Expectations aside, God knows I'm not perfect. None of us are!
We just take our chances.
POST NOTE: A reclusive lifestyle has increasing appeal for me...If only I could get over this insistent impulse to express myself by means of the written word.
No comments:
Post a Comment