Comedian, film, and television star Groucho Marx, famous for his quick wit, once said, "I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal." 

A California realtor once persuaded the famed comedian to inspect a palatial ocean-front estate that was for sale. The realtor drove Groucho up the mile-long, beautifully landscaped approach. He escorted him through the house, the stables, the gardens, the kennels, demonstrating the many beautiful features of the dream palace by the sea. Groucho patiently plodded after him, nodding sternly from time to time, apparently much impressed. Finally, he was ushered out on the flagstone terrace as the salesman waved proudly toward the broad expanse of the Pacific. "Now, what do you think?" the realtor challenged. 

"I don't care for it," replied Groucho. "Take away the ocean, and now what have you got?"

Groucho used a similar line in a priceless interview with William Buckley. Himself a cigar smoker, Groucho referred to an acquaintance who was asked why he didn't quit smoking cigars. "And replace it with what?" was the guy's instant reply.

The story becomes a parable on the actual value of Christian discipleship. We may know the Bible from cover to cover. We may be well-informed in theology. We may know all the sacred hymns by heart. We may be regular Churchgoers. 

We may be generous with our time in Church activities and generous with our weekly offerings. We may even be able to speak in tongues. But take away love, and what do we replace it with? In the Apostle Paul's words, "if we do not have love, we are nothing." 

To be effective members of this Christian Community – to be effective disciples and, effective witnesses to the reality of the Divine Presence in the world, we are therefore well advised to do everything in the Spirit of Love, as difficult as it may be at times.

In the reality of the world as we experience it today, that may well mean going it alone with a personal mission of outreach, or going out of our way to help others in need as they come to our attention; something our small churches as an aging body no longer have the wherewithal to do, realistically speaking.

Mind you, it is not necessary to go looking for needy causes. Rest assured they will find you and it does not always require a monetary expenditure from already taxed and limited resources. More often than not all that is needed is a ready ear and a caring human connection.

On the subject of reality, there's a simplistic little test circulating the internet that promises to tell you if you are a realist or an idealist. I took the test, which seemed to ask questions that were not overly personal and probing. Twenty-nine questions later, I was not altogether surprised by the answer...I am an idealist! Although, quite honestly, I'd rather think of myself as a realist...Go figure!

Test results told me: "You are someone that sees the world in an ideal way and not in the way that it actually is. You are a bit impractical and someone that has probably been a bit naive throughout your life. You think everything is perfect, and if it isn't, then you are working to make it that way."

I do not think that everything needs to be perfect, I just accept imperfections as a reality in life and am prepared to overlook them if there is no possibility of me enacting change.

The major disadvantage of being an idealist is that the world and people often don’t measure up. We come up with these grand plans but people or circumstances fail us. My advice is to rely on yourself! As we grow older we idealists figure out what is and isn’t within our control, so we are less often disappointed! And I’m afraid we only figure this out after years of being disappointed!

Because idealists always want to see the best in people when an idealist falls in love they too often see perfection and not who that person really is. Idealists ‘idealise’ others. In the first stages of a relationship, idealists are wildly romantic but too often are not so good with the day-to-day demands of long-term relationships.

Have you heard of the term practical idealism? It was coined by the American philosopher/ psychologist John Dewey in 1917 and later used by Mahatma Gandhi. The idea is that you are obliged to follow and put into practice ideas of virtue or good but you are also obliged to make compromises to realise your high ideals. 

It is better to make some compromises rather than abandon your grand plan (I have had to work hard to remind myself of that line of thinking, often giving up with the least provocation). Dewey wrote, “We pride ourselves upon a practical idealism, a lively and easily moved faith in possibilities as yet unrealized, in willingness to make sacrifice for their realization.” 

In other words, do what you have to in order to  realise your dream. That does not mean behaving unethically, but it may mean that your grand, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious project is only a grand, super project on completion! It might only be an 8 out of 10, not a perfect 10 out of 10!

Personally, I have embraced realistic idealism or practical idealism. This is now my mantra, God, give me the grace to accept with serenity the things that I cannot change, courage to change the things that should be changed and the wisdom to tell the difference between the two!

Idealism is the belief that you should stick to your principles, even if your principles have a negative impact on your life. The idealist is prepared to suffer in order to do what he or she thinks is right. Meanwhile, realists reject idealism. If the ideal gets in the way, the realistic will review the situation and abandon the ideal for a very basic, easy solution. However the practical idealist is prepared to compromise but will still strive to get as close to ideal as possible.

For a long time, we have looked at realism and idealism as opposites yet it makes so much sense to combine the two and be  a ‘realistic idealist'. Look at what you could achieve if you blend these skills sets. 

Realistic idealism means that you want to make the world a better place, and you are prepared to do the ground work to achieve that end.

Sadly, in spite of giving in to compromise, I can't say that I've had much impact on the world so far. That much is my reality...And like so many other things, I accept it!

I never pretended to be perfect! And there are many who will confirm that contention.