From the time we were toddlers, we were taught and trained to know about social norms and expectations. We all have choices to make within those social perimeters.
Not being happy with yourself is often the first indicator that you are not acting like your true self because people are happiest when they stay true to who they are. The temptation to act contrary to who you are comes from fear-based thinking and possibly a devilish nature that thrives on being contrary. It may also be fear of rejection or exclusion, or the fear of failure. The result is that your emotions take over your reactions, regardless of what you truly believe about yourself, which causes you to stray further and further from the person you truly are.
How often in times of uncertainty have we heard a well-meaning confidant (generally at a loss for more meaningful advice) tell us, "Just be yourself! On more occasions than I care to count I have also gone so far as to give myself that same advice, because I sincerely prefer to reveal my true self at all times.
In so doing, initially I have to admit to countless hours trying to absorb the writings found in the late Allan Watts' The Book on The Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are. Watts explored an unrecognized but mighty taboo -- our tacit conspiracy to ignore who or what we really are. The prevalent sensation of oneself as a separate ego enclosed in a bag of skin is a hallucination which accords neither Western science nor with the experimental philosophy-religions of the East.
Ego - the Ultimate Self-saboteur
Our ego is the part of our personality that loves manufacturing 'less than' experiences. Our ego feeds on fear, doubt and pain. The more we attach ourselves to our ego thoughts, the further we move away from our soul truth.
Be very clear -- your ego is not the real you! It is the polar opposite of who you really are. It is not your True Self.
Our 'dark side' is ego. Our 'light side' is True Self. We can only manifest love, happiness and success when we are operating from our True Self. We will always manifest recurring pain from our false self.
To Experience 'Light' We Must Know the 'Dark'
Of course we have to know darkness in order to know the Light, and it is only through conquering the darkness (fear) that we can move into the Light. The entire physical plane consists of polar opposites: good/bad, hot/cold, up/down and so on. We wouldn't know 'good' if we weren't exposed to 'bad'.
When we understand that our ego is a false self, we need to know how to get out of the darkness and stay out as much as possible.
Simply knowing our 'dark side' (false self) exists is enough to grant us comparison and choice. We do not need to live this reality directly in order to choose a loving and happy state. The more you subdue and dissolve your ego, the freer you are to experience a balanced, self-sustaining life.
Your Ego Is Never Satisfied
We know ego wants resolution on its own terms and isn't content to accept the version of higher truth that our True Self embraces so easily. We're given free will. It's our choice as to which version of the truth we connect to, and there are profound differences with these truths.
Your ego always wants to re-hash and replay the past scenarios. This is a very clever trick of the ego because it makes you believe that by rethinking the pain you'll get some answers. Your ego tells you this is a necessary process. Your ego loves to judge situations as 'right' or 'wrong' and takes matters very personally.
However, doesn't our experience of this version of 'the truth' that keeps us stuck in the past, and the continual turmoil it brings to our entire life, keep delivering pain? We know, oh so well, this simply does not work in relation to who we want to be and where we want to go.
Yet our heads continue to analyse life experiences to death, coming up with countless different realities (none of which stick or bring us any peace). And we keep doing it over and over again, cementing our fears, our 'less than' belief systems and subsequent negative DNA programming deeper into our lives.
We don't move on, we don't create new positive experiences on these issues, and even if we temporarily did, it's likely that either consciously or subconsciously we'd sabotage it and end up back at square one once again. Our ego clings to injustice. Perceiving injustice keeps creating injustices in our life, and may keep recreating it endlessly.
Your True Self 'Gets' Ultimate Reality
True Self knows on a heartfelt level that painful experiences produce amazing opportunities for healing and evolution. It understands the concept 'it is what it is', and removes all personalisation and judgement from the experience. True Self knows that breakdowns create breakthroughs, and there's always a gift in the situation.
True Self has no need to replay the incident over and over again. True Self goes forward, resolved, and takes the learning with peace and empowerment into the now. Our True Self embraces resolution and encourages us to make self-loving shifts. These adjustments (rather than actions of 'injustice') work with regard to who we truly are, and what we truly want to experience.
I have learned the hard way that I/We/You have a choice:
We can choose to embrace the True-Self version, or we can attach to the obsessive painful version that our ego tricks us into re-creating.
These are the outcomes of our decision: 1) We evolve and heal, clear the issues and start enjoying a liberated reality of this previous less-than belief system, or 2) We cement ourselves further into the pain and attract more of the same pain over and over again.
So what are we going to decide?
Are we going to rise up into empowerment, or are we going to remain a victim? The decision is ours and no one else's.
After all is said and done, it is really easy to understand what your ego is and what True Self is. Ego supplies us with feelings of constriction, pain, obsession, fear and severe dis-empowerment...Your energy levels drop and you feel tired, anxious and overwhelmed. Because your thoughts are focused on past pain or future fears you are significantly disabled in the moment. You feel needy and anxious.
Your true self (your natural state of being) supplies you with feelings of calm, peace, happiness and clarity. Because you are in the Now, you are functional, creative and expansive.
For many people, to know and conform to the expectations of society has caused them to blur the lines between what society expects from them and truly being themselves. This social pressure is only exacerbated by the rise of technology and social media platforms in our everyday lives.
Not being happy with yourself is often the first indicator that you are not acting like your true self because people are happiest when they stay true to who they are. The temptation to act contrary to who you are comes from fear-based thinking and possibly a devilish nature that thrives on being contrary. It may also be fear of rejection or exclusion, or the fear of failure. The result is that your emotions take over your reactions, regardless of what you truly believe about yourself, which causes you to stray further and further from the person you truly are.
How often in times of uncertainty have we heard a well-meaning confidant (generally at a loss for more meaningful advice) tell us, "Just be yourself! On more occasions than I care to count I have also gone so far as to give myself that same advice, because I sincerely prefer to reveal my true self at all times.
Then again, life being what it is, there have been those inevitable occasions when something I have said or done has has been misinterpreted or, worse yet, not always met with the favor of others, causing me to justify myself by playing the "I was only being (or expressing) myself" card; "no offense intended."
Letting ego sneak into dialogue kind of puts a person between a rock and a hard place, doesn't it. In particular, we ask for trouble when we lose control of our true selves by letting that dastardly ego find its way into conversations with others. I stress this point because it has been a bone of contention for me in the not too distant past, necessitating a time of withdrawal and personal assessment.
Differentiating between how you come across to others and how you truly are is a major challenge and one that can cause damaging anxiety. How do I know who or what my true self really is? That is the question, and for an answer I really think that we have to look at the analogy of our ego -- as if this part of us was a separate entity.
Drawing on the insights of the Vedanta philosophy of Hinduism, Watts formulated his own solution to the urgent problem of personal identity and proposed a method of self-examination that shattered 'the big lie and hallucination' of alienation.
So with that as background and begging your indulgence for a few minutes of your valued time, I am compelled to ask: Would you stand in front of someone while they were delivering a whole heap of unhealthy, insane, abusive, damaging and disgusting versions of you and your life and listen to it?
Through personal experience I have come to realize that if you stand there and argue with an abusive individual, you get damaged in the process. If you do this, you have serious problems with setting boundaries.
We must understand that our ego is every bit as abusive as another damaging individual.
If you have a 'fight with yourself' you're trying to justify yourself to your ego and convince it you aren't this person, you don't have these fears, you don't have doubts and you really are capable. Your ego loves this because it will trick you into thinking that you can win the argument, that you can convince it and resolve the issue, and that you'll receive peace after having this struggle with yourself.
This is so untrue!
So with that as background and begging your indulgence for a few minutes of your valued time, I am compelled to ask: Would you stand in front of someone while they were delivering a whole heap of unhealthy, insane, abusive, damaging and disgusting versions of you and your life and listen to it?
Through personal experience I have come to realize that if you stand there and argue with an abusive individual, you get damaged in the process. If you do this, you have serious problems with setting boundaries.
We must understand that our ego is every bit as abusive as another damaging individual.
If you have a 'fight with yourself' you're trying to justify yourself to your ego and convince it you aren't this person, you don't have these fears, you don't have doubts and you really are capable. Your ego loves this because it will trick you into thinking that you can win the argument, that you can convince it and resolve the issue, and that you'll receive peace after having this struggle with yourself.
This is so untrue!
Your ego will keep coming back at you again and again, and just like any abusive person who simply won't get it, wants to project fears and doubts, and not find peace within. The argument will continue to resurface and never be healed.
Think about this -- how exhausting is it trying to argue and justify yourself with a person who is continually abusing you? If you don't disconnect and get away from them, you eventually give in and start agreeing with their version of you just to get some peace.
Inevitably if you keep hooking into your ego you'll end up doing the same thing. Eventually you'll be so worn down that you'll accept and agree with the inner dialogue of 'I'm worthless and a failure'.
This is what depression is...Trust me, I know.
Society's concept of 'ego' has often been recognition of arrogant and bombastic behaviour. How many people realise that constructed false self is a cover-up for the painful torturous thoughts and feelings of unworthiness that the world doesn't see?
Be very clear that the ego is also responsible for people who display insipid and power-less behaviour. The ego creates all 'less than' human behaviour. Your ego is your greatest problem in life. There truly is no fight going on outside of you. The only enemy is within.
Think about this -- how exhausting is it trying to argue and justify yourself with a person who is continually abusing you? If you don't disconnect and get away from them, you eventually give in and start agreeing with their version of you just to get some peace.
Inevitably if you keep hooking into your ego you'll end up doing the same thing. Eventually you'll be so worn down that you'll accept and agree with the inner dialogue of 'I'm worthless and a failure'.
This is what depression is...Trust me, I know.
Society's concept of 'ego' has often been recognition of arrogant and bombastic behaviour. How many people realise that constructed false self is a cover-up for the painful torturous thoughts and feelings of unworthiness that the world doesn't see?
Be very clear that the ego is also responsible for people who display insipid and power-less behaviour. The ego creates all 'less than' human behaviour. Your ego is your greatest problem in life. There truly is no fight going on outside of you. The only enemy is within.
Ego - the Ultimate Self-saboteur
Our ego is the part of our personality that loves manufacturing 'less than' experiences. Our ego feeds on fear, doubt and pain. The more we attach ourselves to our ego thoughts, the further we move away from our soul truth.
Be very clear -- your ego is not the real you! It is the polar opposite of who you really are. It is not your True Self.
Our 'dark side' is ego. Our 'light side' is True Self. We can only manifest love, happiness and success when we are operating from our True Self. We will always manifest recurring pain from our false self.
To Experience 'Light' We Must Know the 'Dark'
Of course we have to know darkness in order to know the Light, and it is only through conquering the darkness (fear) that we can move into the Light. The entire physical plane consists of polar opposites: good/bad, hot/cold, up/down and so on. We wouldn't know 'good' if we weren't exposed to 'bad'.
When we understand that our ego is a false self, we need to know how to get out of the darkness and stay out as much as possible.
Simply knowing our 'dark side' (false self) exists is enough to grant us comparison and choice. We do not need to live this reality directly in order to choose a loving and happy state. The more you subdue and dissolve your ego, the freer you are to experience a balanced, self-sustaining life.
Your Ego Is Never Satisfied
We know ego wants resolution on its own terms and isn't content to accept the version of higher truth that our True Self embraces so easily. We're given free will. It's our choice as to which version of the truth we connect to, and there are profound differences with these truths.
Your ego always wants to re-hash and replay the past scenarios. This is a very clever trick of the ego because it makes you believe that by rethinking the pain you'll get some answers. Your ego tells you this is a necessary process. Your ego loves to judge situations as 'right' or 'wrong' and takes matters very personally.
However, doesn't our experience of this version of 'the truth' that keeps us stuck in the past, and the continual turmoil it brings to our entire life, keep delivering pain? We know, oh so well, this simply does not work in relation to who we want to be and where we want to go.
Yet our heads continue to analyse life experiences to death, coming up with countless different realities (none of which stick or bring us any peace). And we keep doing it over and over again, cementing our fears, our 'less than' belief systems and subsequent negative DNA programming deeper into our lives.
We don't move on, we don't create new positive experiences on these issues, and even if we temporarily did, it's likely that either consciously or subconsciously we'd sabotage it and end up back at square one once again. Our ego clings to injustice. Perceiving injustice keeps creating injustices in our life, and may keep recreating it endlessly.
Your True Self 'Gets' Ultimate Reality
True Self knows on a heartfelt level that painful experiences produce amazing opportunities for healing and evolution. It understands the concept 'it is what it is', and removes all personalisation and judgement from the experience. True Self knows that breakdowns create breakthroughs, and there's always a gift in the situation.
True Self has no need to replay the incident over and over again. True Self goes forward, resolved, and takes the learning with peace and empowerment into the now. Our True Self embraces resolution and encourages us to make self-loving shifts. These adjustments (rather than actions of 'injustice') work with regard to who we truly are, and what we truly want to experience.
I have learned the hard way that I/We/You have a choice:
We can choose to embrace the True-Self version, or we can attach to the obsessive painful version that our ego tricks us into re-creating.
These are the outcomes of our decision: 1) We evolve and heal, clear the issues and start enjoying a liberated reality of this previous less-than belief system, or 2) We cement ourselves further into the pain and attract more of the same pain over and over again.
So what are we going to decide?
Are we going to rise up into empowerment, or are we going to remain a victim? The decision is ours and no one else's.
After all is said and done, it is really easy to understand what your ego is and what True Self is. Ego supplies us with feelings of constriction, pain, obsession, fear and severe dis-empowerment...Your energy levels drop and you feel tired, anxious and overwhelmed. Because your thoughts are focused on past pain or future fears you are significantly disabled in the moment. You feel needy and anxious.
Your true self (your natural state of being) supplies you with feelings of calm, peace, happiness and clarity. Because you are in the Now, you are functional, creative and expansive.
That is how you recognize your true self when you encounter It. You know the real you because IT IS YOU and you feel good about finding It -- without looking any further.
Don't make It any more than It is!
Have I made Myself clear?
2 comments:
Crystal clear! :) Great read! Thank you!
Some important lessons for all of us to learn. Hope that you're doing well.
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