Sharing with you things that are on my mind...Maybe yours too. Come back to Wrights Lane for a visit anytime!

15 August, 2011

ABOUT DECISIONS, RESOLVE AND COMPROMISES

I have been a coward on the rare occasion, taking the most expeditious easy way out of certain situations.  You know, "what will be best for me?" or "what will be best for other parties?  Surely I am not alone in that admission.

The "easy way out" can be prompted by one's natural predisposition for self-preservation while, on the other hand, the interests and feelings of others might be the overriding consideration.  Resolution can, and does, take many forms and in the end if we are lucky we can gain solace from knowing that "all is well that ends well".  Again, if we are lucky.

My contention is that "the end" of which I speak is not always reached without ill-advised influences, sacrifices, compromises, enduring uncertainty and self-questioning.

"Easy outs" can simply mean walking away from uncomfortable issues, failing to accept a fair share of responsibility, soft-pedalling of problem areas, a general dismissal of root causes and stubborn resistance to recognition of any common ground.  Much easier to settle for personal appeasement and justification enabling us to get on with life, hopefully leaving the whole mess behind.

So caught up are we in "self" and "others" when facing challenging issues in life, that we tend to overlook honest to goodness consideration of the right mindset with which to assess and rationalize facts of a given matter.  We simply do not reach down deep enough within ourselves when engaging in the crucial decision-making process.  From the womb we have been conditioned to conformity. By that, I mean the idea that our purpose in life is to make things easier for our parents, our family, our teachers, our friends.  Eventually we learn to work our own interests into the equation as well and that only further complicates matters for us.

From the word "go" we are told not to rock the ship, make no fuss and to not question decisions made beyond our control and behest.  Is it any wonder then that we look for "easy outs" when we later face difficult challenges as adults in a very complex world?   I know that I open myself up to the possibility of criticism, but generally in our formative years we are conditioned to think that it is good for us to accept whatever life throws our way, no matter how sub-standard.  To this day our  youngsters are expected to be suppressible and accepting.

As with many subjects dealt with in Wrights Lane, my thinking in all of this is admittedly simplistic  but I cannot help but be just a little upset.

At no time, at least in my experience, are we ever told that when faced with awkward situations and difficult decisions, it just might be better to make ourselves briefly unpopular than to become permanently compromised.  Like tough love, tough solutions are not always immediately understood, nor appreciated.  Also, nowhere is it written that we have to accept certain situations and that we are necessarily compelled to make life "easier" with the courses of action we decide to take.

There are those too who fall back on the "will of God" in such instances, but to me that is another all-too-convenient easy way out.  What is wrong with individual backbone and common sense?  Why place the onus on God?  After all, He gave us minds and a biblical blueprint to utilize in dealing with difficult and challenging earthly issues.

There are times when idealism, out of necessity, should give way to unbridled reality -- and uncompromised, guilt-free thinking that takes into consideration what is truly conducive to satisfactory resolution of the challenging issues we face in life.   Circumstances and the ramifications of issues are what should be considered first and foremost and not necessarily the feelings and prejudices of ourselves and others.

It is a shame when you have to admit to being a compromised, "easy out" coward like me.  And to think that I was never that popular anyway.  There have been situations in the past where I could have risked being unpopular for the sake of what would have been best for all concerned in the long run.  If only I had gone deeper within for answers and ignored misguided and often misconstrued influences, as well-intended as they may have been at one time.

Suffice to say, the easy way out does not always equate to the wisest way out.  Excuses, likewise, do little to enhance our position.

Ah me.  We get too soon old and too late smart(?)!

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