THE HINDSIGHT IN BEING A BETTER VERSON OF MYSELF

I could have been better at a lot of things in the past 85 years of my life -- a better son to my mother, a better than the below-average-student I was in school, a better employee in my first job(s), a better husband, a better father; a better worker in every aspect of chosen career paths, a better communicator, writer and minister of good in later years, a better friend in what few relationships I've had -- better at a lot of other things too numerous to mention!

I've been too-often guilty of the fall-back reasoning that at the time I was doing the best with what I had.

The only trouble was that I tried to do too much with very little know-how or capability, for the most part going through the paces and hoping that equated to the acceptable norm, or good enough. In essance, I guess I didn't know any better, a slow learner, blissful in my ignorance...yet a good enough pretender to squeeze by.

An insular and awkardly methodical kid from the sticks, so to speak, and with so much to experience, I was easily distracted and wanted a taste of it all while I could get it. Often spreading myself dangerously thin in the process and unable to prioritize. I was in a hurry, to get where I do not know. Ironically, I now have all the time in the world...and nothing on which to spend it.

Experience has been my best (pardon the pun) teacher, however. I readily accept that there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of it now. I have come to grips with my limitations and have learned to not beat myself up over them. 

I am also thankful for the way things have turned out in my life, in spite of the odds and myself in particular. Certainly, my fate could have been a lot worse.

In this regard, I harken to the lyrical sentiments: "We all could have done better but it is good to keep in mind that we may also have done worse."

In the twilight of this lifetime I survive now by putting my best foot forward if and when I can, as limited as it may be. Sometimes that is good enough...other times it is not. There are times when my writing on Wrights Lane falls short of the intended objective but there is also the odd occasion when my literary efforts have mission-accomplished impact.

But it still all remains the best I have to offer at this juncture in time. No excuses.

I am who I am and what I am. I don't think I would change now, even if I was miraculously born again and time permited.

No apologies at this late date!

Most certainly though, I could have been a much better guy capable of doing a lot better with many things in life. If only I knew then what I think I know now. 

Do you catch my drift?