WALKING AWAY VS. GIVING UP: ALL IN HOW YOU LOOK AT IT

I was once labelled an activist, innovator doer in a personality test I undertook and, looking back, I guess that rather rudimentary assessment pretty well nailed it. But certain aspects of that diagnosis(?) have always made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

Without apology, and in spite of some pretty gratifying traits otherwise, we AID people have been known to purposely walk away from certain difficult or compromising situations in life, often before realizing the actual fruits of our labor, if in fact there were any.

In my mind I have always struggled with the prospect of being a quitter, unable to finish what I started. But let's back up a little and take a second look.

I was only 17-years-of age when for the first time I realized that I did not have to accept circumstances that were contrary to my comfort level and peace of mind. Acting on newly discovered sense of resolve, I deemed it necessary to walk away almost simultaneously from two situations that had become intolerable in my still formative stage of life. In reality, it would be the beginning of the rest of my life, for better or worse. Early indication that I alone was in control of my destiny.

Initially, with resolve I had never before experienced, I found myself walking away from writing final exams in my fifth year of high school because I knew the prospects of passing were hopeless. I was not a happy camper in high school -- I'd already failed once before, teachers were giving up on me and I could not cope with at least one more year of a day dreaming, slow learner's misery in not making the grade. The relief I felt in the end was unmeasurable. I was simply not gifted academically and I had to find ways of compensating in order fulfill myself in life.

In a matter of months, I further decided to quit my $22-a-week dead end job in a men's clothing store and to leave my family home for good, just two months shy of my 18th birthday. I was an only child, my father having passed away four years prior, and my relationship with my mother had become increasingly toxic (in all due respect, I think she saw the writing on the wall and released her apron strings with minimal resistance). Hence, I set out to satisfy a boyhood dream of playing professional baseball -- and learning from the never-fail school of hard knocks as I stumbled along.

Not intentionally setting a pattern so early in life, I would eventually go on to utilize God-given abilities in successfully climbing ladders in two diversified communications careers over a 40-year period, but in the end walking away from both of them. In essence, ideally taking one step back in order to take two giant strides forward elsewhere. 

Similarly, with a tendency to involve myself in the areas of sports organization, community service and church support ministry, I often withdrew participation because I did not relish personality conflicts, opposition and dismissal that went with the territory, generally contrary to my belief system. In other words I left others to water seeds I'd planted. 

To me life was just too short and there was no future in dying a thousand deaths over giving time and effort to something that appeared to be unappreciated and ultimately beyond me.

Admittedly, in walking (or stepping) away, people are naturally left behind in the process; often failing to understand the reasons for your desperate action. Indeed, there is a price to be paid and the potential to lose previously professed friends is one of them...A calculated risk, to be sure. All part of the pros and cons to be considered before taking self-removal action.

After extensive soul-searching, aided by some necessary self-help research, I have concluded that often the only difference between walking away from something or giving up on something is the way in which we judge the scenario. It is easy to feel sometimes that not completing an undertaking is equivalent to giving up.

It is likewise very easy to stick with something for fear of what can readily be judged as giving up and being a certified failure. 

Forcing yourself to stay with something and pushing through to the bitter end definitely can have potential for doing more harm than good. Ignoring inner truth can lead one down all sorts of strange paths.

So often in life, we’re quick to jump to conclusions and judgments about ourselves and other people. This does not do us any good either. There is a human need to walk away from situations, people and environments that do not serve us. We owe it to ourselves, to be honest in life about what we do and what we do not want and after serious consideration make the bold decision to walk away, if necessary, in order to preserve sanity.

It is a part of being accountable for our happiness to be able to make choices about our lives that are in our best interests.

Walking away is having the confidence to say enough is enough. It is doing what’s best at the time. It is moving on with empowerment, rather than a defeated state of mind.

At least that's the way I've convinced myself to see it anyway. Call it self-justification if you will.