In reality, am I only disguising a suppressed need within myself to connect and be connected; something lacking in real life -- a need to express myself and, just as importantly, to be heard? In truth it can become an addiction -- an itch that needs to be scratched.
Interestingly enough, Google has implemented a new search performance report for bloggers like me and this morning (Dec. 4) I received the following data for "hits" on https://dicktheblogster.blogspot.com during the period Nov. 1 to Nov. 30. The numbers were extremely interesting and somewhat revealing.
"Hits" represent individuals looking for certain subject matter through their Google search engine. Not counted in that number are direct hits, or "viewers", by regular Wrights Lane followers and links through Facebook and other social media. Unbelievably, the hits in my initial monthly report were representative of 23 countries, with the United States topping the list as follows:
U.S. 103
Canada 52
UK 12
Australia 5
Ireland 3
Greece 2
Single (1) hits for the same period came from an additional 17 other countries. I would never have believed it.
This on top of the fact that Wrights Lane has had in excess of 142,000 views in the nine years that I have been publishing it. Add in 18 other companion sites included in the Wrights Lane roster and you are talking well over 10,000,000 viewers. Not bad, in retrospect!
It is rather ironic to acknowledge that all of this has been going on without me really knowing about it and it comes in the form of encouragement.
While I readily admit that through my writing I am filling a narcissistic need within me, there are demonstrated numbers sufficient to prove that there are people out there (around the world) who are actually reading my stuff and I consider that a win-win.
Writing what "wants to be written" is antithetical to writing for external validation. There is nothing that will freeze you more before a blank page than needing others to approve of and like what comes out, even you.
I’m not saying that having other people like my gleanings isn’t great, it is. Who doesn’t want to be liked and admired for their creative endeavors? Yes! I’ll be the first to admit that I do regularly check my recommends, comments and followers. We all want to be seen and acknowledged. But there is a difference between needing it and enjoying it as a badass bonus when it comes my way because I did what my expressive heart loves to do.
As one writing coach explains it: "When you allow yourself to simply follow your creative expression without it needing to do or be anything other than what it is, you experience your own divinity. You actually become a Creator. You, like God or Goddess or Source or Creator or Creatrix—whatever term you use—commit the act of bringing essence into form so that it may live a life of its own. That’s Creation."
And the truth is, you have no control over what happens to it after that, especially once you’ve pressed the “submit” button and published it in some form. You have no control over how you exist in other people’s imaginations.
...And that is what bothers me at times.
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