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| JANN ARDEN |
WHEN I went to see my mother yesterday, I found her in the dining area with her new friends. She was having some soup and laughing about something one of the other ladies had said. She saw Midi first- and lit up, and then she saw me.
"Well for God's sake", she said as she always does. "It's you!"
"Ya, it's me!"
"Well for God's sake", she said as she always does. "It's you!"
"Ya, it's me!"
She turned to her pals and introduced me with an enthusiasm that was utterly heartwarming.
"This is my mom!", she said pointing at me. I didn't correct her. I just smiled and gave her a kiss.
"You're my mom too." She threw her head back and really thought that was something to celebrate.
"I am?"
"Yes, you're my mom too."
"Well, that's hard to believe!"
She was genuinely filled with the joy of a new discovery. It resonated with me like some kind of delicate song. I marveled at how happy she was over something so simple.
SOMETHING. SO. SIMPLE.
It's so easy to lose sight of what really, truly makes us happy. What gives us serenity and satisfaction and an over all sense of well being. We all just want to feel secure and comfortable.
It doesn't matter how much money you have or what dream job you have or how other people perceive your life to be. Things don't matter-stuff is just that, temporary and disposable,- but the way your brain works and how that delicate balance of chemicals makes you FEEL- is pretty much everything.
I am learning from my mother that I have to keep moving. That my life is not static and that sadness and anxiety and worry and doubt are not static things either. They change and morph into glad things and easy things and happy things JUST as easily as they seem to turn into negative things. Emotions are kind of like the weather- it always changes. Storms can't go on forever. Optimism is mighty.
Mom once told me that the best thing about Alzheimers was that you forget to be afraid. I will never forget those words, ironically, for as long as I live. At least I don't think I will.
We all seem to live so far into the future, planning and configuring and sorting and filling our calendars- that we've forgotten where we are and somehow managed- to also forget who we are. I don't live in the future. My mother has taught me to be where I am. I'm happier. I'm more content. I feel a sense of ease I didn't have two years ago when I was so worried about things that hadn't even happened yet.
Small things.
Small.
Bring huge victories.
"This is my mom!", she said pointing at me. I didn't correct her. I just smiled and gave her a kiss.
"You're my mom too." She threw her head back and really thought that was something to celebrate.
"I am?"
"Yes, you're my mom too."
"Well, that's hard to believe!"
She was genuinely filled with the joy of a new discovery. It resonated with me like some kind of delicate song. I marveled at how happy she was over something so simple.
SOMETHING. SO. SIMPLE.
It's so easy to lose sight of what really, truly makes us happy. What gives us serenity and satisfaction and an over all sense of well being. We all just want to feel secure and comfortable.
It doesn't matter how much money you have or what dream job you have or how other people perceive your life to be. Things don't matter-stuff is just that, temporary and disposable,- but the way your brain works and how that delicate balance of chemicals makes you FEEL- is pretty much everything.
I am learning from my mother that I have to keep moving. That my life is not static and that sadness and anxiety and worry and doubt are not static things either. They change and morph into glad things and easy things and happy things JUST as easily as they seem to turn into negative things. Emotions are kind of like the weather- it always changes. Storms can't go on forever. Optimism is mighty.
Mom once told me that the best thing about Alzheimers was that you forget to be afraid. I will never forget those words, ironically, for as long as I live. At least I don't think I will.
We all seem to live so far into the future, planning and configuring and sorting and filling our calendars- that we've forgotten where we are and somehow managed- to also forget who we are. I don't live in the future. My mother has taught me to be where I am. I'm happier. I'm more content. I feel a sense of ease I didn't have two years ago when I was so worried about things that hadn't even happened yet.
Small things.
Small.
Bring huge victories.
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