The long-awaited return of warm, sunny weather has enticed eager gardeners and amateur landscapers out of hibernation. A winter's worth of accumulated sand and road dust is being swept from garage floors and driveways. That long list of home improvement projects---outdoor painting, cleaning out the shed, fixing a saggy fence, preparing flower beds --- can be tackled at last.
But know what?...Spring is also a good time for a self-improvement
project, if we are so motivated by the annual urge for renewal. A question one can be encouraged to ask
occasionally is: “How can I improve?” Better still, why not direct this
question to someone close to us? A good relationship is defined by honesty. Are
there people in our lives who care enough about us to not always say what we
want to hear, but what we need to know?
Most of us can learn more from our mistakes than from our
successes. With every success, we are tempted to continue doing the same thing
because it seems to work and is comfortably familiar. But, after making a
mistake, we can be motivated to try a different approach, one which may result
in better success.
Admittedly,
it does require some courage to ask: "How can I improve?" What would
happen if we asked our spouse or children: "How can I be a better partner
or parent?" You might risk being taken advantage of: "Dad, you could
let me drive the car to school every day." You might risk sarcasm:
"Dear, how could someone as perfect a husband as you are possibly need to
improve?" Most importantly, it helps if you can muster up a thick skin…You
do risk hearing a painful truth, but that honesty, if well-intended, could make
a good relationship even better.
The same openness to
helpful criticism can apply to work situations, either as boss or employee. Too
many trainees, those on internships, apprenticeships or practicums focus on
demonstrating their mastery of a task rather than on their eagerness to learn
do it better.
As a newspaper editor, I
once had the bright idea of conducting occasional meetings with reportorial
staff to review and discuss the handling of specific stories in a selected day’s
edition, i.e. was an item balanced in structure and content, was it positioned
to best advantage, could it be improved in any way?
I have never forgotten one local news story
in particular that had been written by a reporter who had a tendency toward
awkward phraseology at times and in editing his copy I condensed several
paragraphs so as to improve the flow of the story.
One eagle-eyed reporter
at a meeting questioned the explanation of a fact in the portion of the story
that I had rewritten, prompting the author to quickly reply “I didn’t write it
that way…It was edited!”
“Oh,” the other chimed
in…”I didn’t think that you would ever express it that poorly.”
I cannot recall ever again
holding one of those types of meetings with my staff. But I did indeed learn something.
Years ago, when he
taught college students, a friend recalls developing a simple end-of-semester
evaluation questionnaire. He elicited their thoughts on the course and also on himself
as a teacher.
These days many
professors use more sophisticated tools to measure these same factors. A
problem they sometimes encounter is that a successful course might be defined
by the popularity of the instructor, rather than the effectiveness of his or
her teaching methodology. The professor who is flexible with due dates, tells
great jokes and marks essays gently can be evaluated higher than a more
brilliant counterpart who is hard nosed with assignments and strict with grades. Asking for honest
criticism works best when the one providing feedback does so objectively,
without some axe to grind or favours to seek.
How do we receive honest
feedback? Ideally, it can be accepted
without being defensive, threatened or angry. An ancient Biblical proverb sums
it up nicely:
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”
Just
some food for thought in the weeks ahead as we tackle annual Spring
“tidying up” projects around our homes – and maybe even on ourselves if we are
broadminded enough to listen to an honest assessment delivered with love(?).
2 comments:
I love it.
Thanks Andrea...You have been doing your share of Spring "tidying up".
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