Comedian Paula Poundstone once quipped, “Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas for themselves.”
Indeed, life’s journey offers us endless choices. The problem is, as some say, “by the time you know your way around, you don’t feel like going.” Perhaps that is somewhat the way author John Stuart Mill felt at one point in his life. In his autobiography, Mill said that his father had recognized that he was a very gifted child and proceeded to cram his head with all sorts of knowledge. However, since he had no religious faith of his own, the father would not allow anything religious to become part of his son’s education.
Looking back on his education with a deep sense of loss, Mill said that his mind was full with information, but his soul was starved. He said, “I was left at the commencement of my voyage with a well-equipped ship — but no sail.”
There is little doubt that many can identify with John Stuart Mill’s complaint — a well-equipped ship but no sail. We need something to push up the value of our hopes and dreams. We need something to push us up and over the waves of emptiness that pound our bored and weary souls. We need something to give us new life. We need something to get us sailing again toward genuine life goals. In the words of Louise Fletcher:
“I wish there were some wonderful place called the Land of Beginning Again, where all our mistakes and heartaches could be dropped like a shabby old coat at the door and never be put on again.”
In recent posts on Wrights Lane I have talked a lot about finding (or losing) purpose in life. Well, lets get real folks!
A lot of people believe that finding their purpose in life will give them happiness. Chances are pretty good it won’t. Here’s the thing about purpose: it may not be pleasant or happy. For instance, what if your purpose in life is volunteering at a crisis call center? Or working in a hospital emergency room? Or working with people in poverty?
Many things are worth doing that provide a sense of purpose but in reality aren’t happy at all. In fact, the things that really need to be done usually are not necessarily going to be happy. But dedicating your time and life to a purpose is something that can provide ultimate personal "fulfillment".
Fulfillment, or filling a need within us...That is really what I am talking about.
Bottom line, fulfilment is at the heart of a life worth living. More often than not it involves giving of yourself in a meaningful way.
It is a feeling that transcends others because you can feel bad, frustrated, angry, or even happy and feel fulfilled at the same time because it is a feeling tied to the important things in life -- who you are and what you do with your life. In this regard I draw a direct parallel to the food-for-thought ramblings I post on Wrights Lane.
If you are able to align who you are and what you do with your life you will find fulfilment. But you will need help and support along the way to attain it and keep on the path that will sustain it. Dare I suggest encouragement that can come in unexpected forms.
So the question becomes not about what can we do to reach fulfilment in life, but more about who we are? how we express ourselves authentically? how do we get past personal defenses? how do we know what our core values and principles are? and can we rejoice in others as they fulfill their purpose through a wide variety of ways in which they give, share and express themselves?
It is such questions that will lead us to fulfilment of purpose in life and to answer these questions we need to do the work on ourselves. A little prayer along the way certainly helps too.
Anyway, that's the way I see it!
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