Today, we look ahead in terms of economic and financial security, but little else.
Consider the mystery of life as it unfolds in a marriage relationship. A good marriage that matures with time is based on the growing realization by both parties that complete knowledge of another human being is never attained.
Married love is an uneasy balance. Meaning, there is always some discovery to be made, always some uncertainty to deal with, always unforeseen events to overcome. The complete mystery of the other is never solved.
Two longtime friends met at a bar to watch the Sunday football game. When it was over, they became so engrossed in talking about old times that, before they realized it, it was hours past when they told their wives they'd be home. Several days later, they met again.
"What happened when you got home so late the other night?" the first man asked, "Everything was O.K.," his friend replied. "I told my wife about how we had talked about old times, and she understood perfectly. By the way, what happened when you arrived home?"
The second man replied, "When I walked in, my wife became historical. She spent the next 15 minutes bringing up every time I've been home late in the entire history of our marriage."
If we were to spend the next hour reviewing our personal histories of the past 25 years, or 10 years, perhaps even one year, one undeniable fact would emerge; namely, that life is uncertain. It has been said that "The only things we can be certain about in life (apart from death and taxes) are the uncertainties."
Life itself is fragile...here today and gone tomorrow. The state of our health is subject to radical change, often without notice. The very existence of humankind is threatened. Even the weather seems more complicated to predict these days. The social climate across the globe changes almost daily and rarely for the better.
Yet, during the worst of times we struggle to hold out hope for better days to come, often giving too much credence to what got us to this point in the first place.
It can be rather fascinating to look at things like uncertainties, and realize that we put our most powerful stresses, fears, and worries over the things in which we carry the least bit of control. We put a lifetime of pain into the type of things that we just cannot do anything about. We fester, and we lose sleep, risk health, and live in anxiety.
So are these things just painful vices that we all carry with us for our whole lives? At first, the answer is yes. Because none of us are immune to the stress, and uncertainty of what is going on in this world.
In reality, these things really are just a part of life. Without necessarily any kind of pill that can simply cure it away. One of the greatest flaws in the science of the brain, is its natural desire to predict and determine the future. It’s something that is easy to see, considering how much we stress out about things that either a. have not yet happened, and or b. may never come to pass anyway.
When I was reading up on this subject, the quote I found that stuck out most was the following: “Normally, our brains make decisions for the future based on our past experiences. When the future is uncertain or we’re experiencing something new, we can’t rely on past experiences to inform our decision-making.”
As with so many things in life, we have to learn to "let go" and to accept the fact that we can’t control the world...and we have to take care of things as they happen. Not project the future, and strain our souls over what is not certain. Just like we practice acceptance in other parts of our lives, we have to accept what life gives us, and deal with it as it comes.
Prepare for what we can prepare for and do not lose ourselves in the futility of fears and worries.
We can live in a new quality of life. One that doesn’t feel like an impending doom of what “terrible” things may happen tomorrow.
Two longtime friends met at a bar to watch the Sunday football game. When it was over, they became so engrossed in talking about old times that, before they realized it, it was hours past when they told their wives they'd be home. Several days later, they met again.
"What happened when you got home so late the other night?" the first man asked, "Everything was O.K.," his friend replied. "I told my wife about how we had talked about old times, and she understood perfectly. By the way, what happened when you arrived home?"
The second man replied, "When I walked in, my wife became historical. She spent the next 15 minutes bringing up every time I've been home late in the entire history of our marriage."
If we were to spend the next hour reviewing our personal histories of the past 25 years, or 10 years, perhaps even one year, one undeniable fact would emerge; namely, that life is uncertain. It has been said that "The only things we can be certain about in life (apart from death and taxes) are the uncertainties."
Life itself is fragile...here today and gone tomorrow. The state of our health is subject to radical change, often without notice. The very existence of humankind is threatened. Even the weather seems more complicated to predict these days. The social climate across the globe changes almost daily and rarely for the better.
Yet, during the worst of times we struggle to hold out hope for better days to come, often giving too much credence to what got us to this point in the first place.
It can be rather fascinating to look at things like uncertainties, and realize that we put our most powerful stresses, fears, and worries over the things in which we carry the least bit of control. We put a lifetime of pain into the type of things that we just cannot do anything about. We fester, and we lose sleep, risk health, and live in anxiety.
So are these things just painful vices that we all carry with us for our whole lives? At first, the answer is yes. Because none of us are immune to the stress, and uncertainty of what is going on in this world.
In reality, these things really are just a part of life. Without necessarily any kind of pill that can simply cure it away. One of the greatest flaws in the science of the brain, is its natural desire to predict and determine the future. It’s something that is easy to see, considering how much we stress out about things that either a. have not yet happened, and or b. may never come to pass anyway.
When I was reading up on this subject, the quote I found that stuck out most was the following: “Normally, our brains make decisions for the future based on our past experiences. When the future is uncertain or we’re experiencing something new, we can’t rely on past experiences to inform our decision-making.”
As with so many things in life, we have to learn to "let go" and to accept the fact that we can’t control the world...and we have to take care of things as they happen. Not project the future, and strain our souls over what is not certain. Just like we practice acceptance in other parts of our lives, we have to accept what life gives us, and deal with it as it comes.
Prepare for what we can prepare for and do not lose ourselves in the futility of fears and worries.
We can live in a new quality of life. One that doesn’t feel like an impending doom of what “terrible” things may happen tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As much as I have tried ever so naively to be all things to all people, I have concluded the hard way that the only thing in life that I can change or influence is myself but if taken to extremes would mean masking or altering my God-given individuality; that of an activist militant with a INFJ personality type.
With tweaks along the way, I have become unchangeably comfortable in my own skin. The world like it or lump it!
Think what you want but in expressing yourself publicly refrain from being too political, too religious, too provocative, less you offend someone in the process. Preach only to a select, fragile and delicate people-starved choir?
Tell people only what they want to hear? Give me a break, for Heaven sake!
The older I get, the more I am inclined to withdraw into that skin of mine that is not as thick as it used to be. For an old-timer like me, it's safer that way!
When sufficient spirit dictates I emerge ever so cautiously from time to time at the risk of offending someone. That much is inevitable. And I'm still working on "letting that go" too.
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