I have yet to see a psychiatrist (he said jokingly), but this depressive mood was undoubtedly the aftermath of a night of recurring dreams that are all too often disturbingly tumultuous and stressful...involving real-life people, dead and alive, and situations not beyond the realm of possibility if you stretch your imagination far enough.
What I am getting at here is that I am not claiming to be any different than most people, but it sure as hell feels that way at times. I constantly fight the impression that almost from the beginning I have had sufficient disillusionment, disagreement, failure, belittlement, sadness and grief to last a lifetime. It is almost as though I eventually became accepting of all of this as a fact of life and have stubbornly, perhaps intuitively, found ways to overcome it.
Had I not, I would not have made it this far.
I hearken to a statement by a 69-year-old woman who was sitting on a hospital bed waiting to have both breasts removed. "In a strange way I feel like the lucky one. Up to now I have had no health problems. I’m in the last room at the end of the hall before the pediatric division of the hospital begins. Over the past few hours I watched dozens of cancer patients being wheeled by in wheelchairs and rolling beds. None of these patients could be a day older than 17.”
I found myself in much the same position in hospitals with two late wives over the course of the last 30 years. There were always people (of all ages), seemingly worse off than us. It was at times like that that I realized we were not alone and that misery enjoys company. We were all in it together.
Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After darkness there is always light -- we need to be reminded of this every morning, but still we often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will last forever. It won’t. Nothing lasts forever.
So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because they won’t last forever either. Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best of it.
Those who complain the most, accomplish the least. It’s always better to attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. It’s not over if you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing but complain about it. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don’t let the shadows of the past darken the doorstep of your future. Spending today complaining or stressing about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter. Take action instead. Let what you’ve learned improve how you live. Make a change and never look back.
Scars, I believe, are symbols of strength.
We should not be ashamed of the scars life has left inflicted on us. A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo of a triumph to be proud of. Don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage. Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear. You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you see them. You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength and not pain.
Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most powerful characters in this great world are seared with scars often the result of fighting a losing battle along with a failing, terminally ill loved one.
In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work is worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the way. Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. This could mean losing stability and comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion. It could mean not eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for weeks on end. It could mean stretching your comfort zone so thin it gives you a nonstop case of the chills. It could mean sacrificing relationships and all that’s familiar. It could mean accepting ridicule from your peers. It could mean lots of time alone in solitude. Solitude, though, is the gift that makes great things possible. It gives you the space you need. Everything else is a test of your determination, of how much you really want it.
And if you want it, you’ll do it, despite failure and rejection and the odds. And every step will feel better than anything else you can imagine. You will realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it is the path. And it’s worth it.
Be positive when negativity surrounds you. Smile when others try to bring you down. It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus. When other people treat you poorly, keep being you. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are. You can’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do things because of you. They do things because of them.
Above all, don’t ever change just to impress someone who says you’re not good enough. Change because it makes you a better person and leads you to a brighter future. People are going to talk regardless of what you do or how well you do it. So worry about yourself before you worry about what others think. If you believe strongly in something, don’t be afraid to fight for it.
Great strength comes from overcoming what others think is impossible.
True strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. There are blessings hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You can’t force things to happen. You can only drive yourself crazy trying. At some point you have to let go and let what’s meant to be, BE.
In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience. It’s a long-term journey. You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way. Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be.
Don’t be afraid to go back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again. Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When you feel like quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best.
Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher. Not only find the strength to laugh every day, but find it in your heart to make others smile too. Don’t stress over things you can’t change, like getting older and not being able to do the things you once did. Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work diligently. Even if you fall short, keep going. Keep trying.
And take nightmares with a grain of salt...In a matter of hours they will be nothing other than a bad dream.
It's when real life mimmicks your worst nightmare, however, that a serious talk with yourself is very much in order.
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