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06 January, 2012

SHINING NEW LIGHT ON IMPERFECTIONS

I received an interesting and revealing note from Wabi Sabi Love advocate Arielle Ford.  I have written before about Arielle and the ancient Japanese art form that honors all things old, worn and imperfect.  Here's some of what she had to say.

Hi Richard:


After Brian and I got married I discovered that "manifesting a soul mate" was the easy part.  The hard part was just beginning.


I was totally clueless about creating a great relationship.  After 44 years of being single, I was used to having my own way (all of the time) and since I managed to skip over having a starter marriage, I had zero experience in "partnership".
Arielle and Brian, the faces
of Wabi Sabi Love
One day I found myself being particularly pushy.  I witnessed myself pointing my right index finger in Brian's face (left hand on left hip) ragging him out about something...and I was shocked!  OMG, what was I doing?


I quickly apologized and then in a flash of insight said to him:  "The next time I get like this, and unfortunately there will be a next time, you have my permission to ask me 'when did Sheila enter the room'?"   (Sheila is my brilliant, amazing and sometimes overbearing Mom.)


Brian instantly got it and said to me:  "And the next time I am getting too patronizing, you can call me Wayne (his much loved Dad)."  This was the beginning of our dedication to practicing Wabi Sabi Love in our relationship -- a way to offset problems and to allow in more love.  It's like finding beauty and perfection in the imperfections of life.  For instance, if you had a large vase with a big crack down the middle of it, a Japanese art museum would put it on a pedestal and shine a spotlight on the crack...


To more love and light in your relationship(s).


-- Arielle

The point of Arielle's message is well taken:  We would all benefit from seeing not only our partners but other situations in life as well, in a whole new light that enables us to appreciate, even celebrate, imperfections.  Patronization has never been conducive to passion, harmony nor love.

I'm sure that I will be hearing more from Arielle on the subject of the Wabi Sabi Love that has changed her life -- and that of Brian.

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